This week is Depression Awareness Week, and although mental health is being talked about more than ever, we still have a lot of work to do. And we shouldn't stop until people feel comfortable enough to speak openly about a mental illness as they would if they were telling their parents or friends they have toothache or flu.
A quick look at the comment section on The Daily Mail when Coldplay's Chris Martin opened up about his battle with depression shows just how uneducated many people still are about the biggest killer of British men under 50 years of age.
Depression does not care whether you're rich or poor. Whether you're happily married or single with six cats. Whether you're the CEO of a massive company or you sign on at the Job Centre every fortnight. It is an insidious and unrelenting disease that will continue to take the lives of millions of people, young and old, unless we all begin to try and understand it, and those who suffer from it, better than we currently do.
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Earlier today, I used social media to reach out to people who are currently living with depression. I wanted to ask them a simple question: What one thing do you want people to understand about your illness?
The thing most worrying to me was that only 4 of the 30-odd messages I received were from men.
Mental distress is still seen as a sign of weakness among young men. Your mates will probably tell you to 'man up' - that is the problem.
Masculine pride is taking the lives of more young people than cancer. Let that sink in.
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Credit: Ryan Melaugh
So, I sent the same question to every person who messaged me, and here are some of the replies I received:
"If I had a broken leg, they'd understand. But with mental illness, they don't know what to do or say. I've just lost my job because of it. I just want people to understand that I'm still the same person, I'm no different to them." - Brian, 55.
"It's not just a matter of deciding to be happy. I want to be happy. Everyone wants to be happy. People need to know that this is not a choice." - Jess, 31.
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"I think I'd like people to understand that mental illness is not attention seeking. In fact, the last thing I would want is attention. I'd actually prefer people to just leave me to be me and in no way would I want attention for something that I can't control about myself." - Laura, 24.
"I'm too scared to leave my uni halls to go get my haircut because I'm scared of what people might think of me. This should be respected and acknowledged the same as a physical illness. The population should be educated more about it. Especially teachers, so they can detect the problems among their pupils." - Dylan, 20.
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"Quite often when people have found out about my illness, they've responded with, 'but what do you have to be depressed about?' There's not one specific thing - it's an illness, I have no control over it. It's a chemical imbalance, faulty cognitive processes, but it's not something I have control over. There doesn't have to be a specific reason." - Nicole, 18.
"Just because someone comes across as a happy and outgoing person, it doesn't mean that's actually how they're feeling. You should always bear that in mind when dealing with anyone." - Stewart, 25.
"The one thing I want people to know about my condition is that it is a constant struggle to interact, socialise, and even get out of bed. A quarter of the UK adult population will suffer similar conditions in any one year, so shame need not be felt by anyone feeling in the same way. Go and see your GP if you're unsure of local services that are available to you." - Daniel, 25.
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There's also one thing that many people suffering from depression don't know about this awful illness.
Although at times it may seem like that dark cloud that overshadows everything you do will never go away, it's important to always remember that depression does not have to last forever. There is help out there, all you've got to do is ask for it.
If you've been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, The CALMzone offers amazing support when things get tough.
The helpline and web chat service are open 5pm to midnight, every day of the year.
NATIONWIDE: 0800 58 58 58
LONDON: 0808 802 58
WEBCHAT: www.thecalmzone.net/get-help
Alternatively, you can contact Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90 or the free phone number is 116123.
Words by Liam Bond
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