The dinner table is arguably the glue that holds family life together. It's where Sunday roasts are enjoyed, dogs get fed inconspicuously when no one is watching and your mum gets you high.
Yeah, you heard me.
One Reddit user found this out the hard way. Going under the name of Dreambook, he told his fellow users about the time his family unsuspectingly ate cannabis while having their family dinner around the table.
Adding a bit more flavour to the average family dinner story, he shared his weed situation through a number of edits.
He wrote: "Guys my naive mother used my CANNABUTTER to make dinner with. Apparently we were out of real butter and she used mine because she though it was 'vegan butter'. My entire family just ate chicken made with high-quality cannabutter. I have around 45 mins before it kicks in. WHAT DO I DO GUYS?
Image credit: Debra Solomon/Flickr
"Edit 2 - Guys I know I can just come clean and tell them. I will if it gets to the point where they are freaking out or something. I'm trying very hard to avoid them ever having to know.
"Edit 3 - No guys I'm not going to record it and embarrass my family for karma.
"Edit 4 - I think they are starting to feel it. Still haven't told them anything. I think I am in denial about this whole thing.
"Edit 5 - My mother just asked me if there was anything wrong with my vegan butter. I decided to tell her it was really old, so they will all just think they have food poisoning or something."
Top marks for thinking on your feet there pal.
This is just building up to the point when the family realises just how strong this 'Cannabutter' really is. The first sign was denial. Paranoia is about to kick in...
He continued:
"Edit 6 - I think my sister is asleep. My father is in some kind of trance with a giant smile on his face. He doesn't seem to be freaking out. My mother on the other hand is going ape shit and wants to go the hospital. My uncle keeps on trying to talk her out of it (because no one can drive so we would have to pay for an ambulance).
"Edit 7 - WTF guys. My uncle is barely affected and laughs his ass off every time he looks at me. I think he knows.
"Edit 8 - BIG UPDATE. Okay, so my uncle definitely knows. He noticed what it was when he ate it, but he didn't say anything about it for whatever fucking reason until after everyone ate it.
He approached my dad about it, who said he had no idea that my mom used my 'vegan butter'. So my uncle told him what was up, so that is why my father has not been freaking out. My father is slightly more liberal about drugs than I thought, apparently he smoked in high school but still didn't recognise the taste. He is the type who likes Ronald Regan and Donald Trump, so I'm kinda surprised. My father keeps trying to get pissed and scold at me, but the weed is preventing him from being mad for more than 30 seconds. My sister has locked herself in her room since after dinner so I assume/hope she is just sleeping.
"My mother on the other hand (Who 100 percent has never done any drugs, including alcohol/coffee/cigs) has been freaking out pretty bad. She has been having an intense existential crisis. I can get into more detail about that later. She is greening out at this point and just threw up. I'm hoping that she puked some of the THC out. But it could have already absorbed into her body IDK.
My uncle has been doing a pretty great job at talking her down and convincing her to ride it out (she still thinks it is food poisoning). Some of you guys don't understand that my mother CANNOT KNOW SHE TOOK WEED. It would make the situation 100 times worse. I will keep you guys updated if anything interesting happens."
Not ever smoked, had a drink or ever had caffeine? Fun at parties!
"Edit 9 - Just to clear everything up:
"1. My sister has been in her room the entire time since after dinner. This isn't strange for her so I think she is sleeping.
"2. My dad knows because my uncle told him.
"3. My uncle knows because he is a fucking pothead.
"4. Mother is feeling better. She is just laying down on her bed at this point. She had some kind of epiphany about how boring her life is and how she wished she never gave up on doing art work etc. etc. She got sick for a while but appears to be better now.
"5. AND FOR THE 1000TH TIME... MY MOTHER CANNOT KNOW SHE TOOK WEED. ME, MY UNCLE, AND MY DAD ALL DECIDED THAT IS AN AWFUL IDEA. SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT WEED IS. ALL SHE KNOWS ABOUT IT IS FROM REEFER MADNESS ERA SHIT. IT WILL DEFINITELY FREAK HER OUT WAY, WAY WORSE IF SHE KNEW."
Lesson learnt. If your mother accidentally used your 'Cannabutter' instead of real butter, don't tell her. Your uncle and your dad will have your back. That's the good old family table working its incredible powers on the harmony within the family unit.
"Edit 11 - I will try to update in a couple days about all the aftermath/more detail. Me and my uncle decided to eat the rest of the Cannabutter. Therefore, I won't update here unless something especially crazy happens."
The aftermath
Then crazy happened.
A day later, the same user had an update for us. His dad didn't keep his trap shut. He told Dreambook's mother than she cooked the family dinner with the 'devil's lettuce' without knowing.
Meanwhile, his uncle apparently got arrested for possession of weed.
After all of this, the poor lad was kicked out of the family house and is now asking other users what he should do next.
Here are some more edits...
"Edit 1 - Mom got him to kick me out. Not myself. I'm wondering what long term solutions there are to something like this. I'm also trying to brainstorm a way to break into my house and get some of my stuff (laptop mostly) while everyone is asleep.
Edit 2 - Guys I'm not going to police. I don't trust the cops with anything.
Edit 3 - What proof do you guys want that doesn't comprise me and my family's identity?
Edit 4 - I did try to check on my sister but her door was locked.
Edit 5 - BTW I'm just assuming the EMT [Emergency Medical Technician] called the actual cops. Who else would call them?
Edit 6 - No guys, I don't want your money.
Edit 7- Apparently auto mod removed my post from /r/trees and it's back up now.
Edit 8 - Okay, I'll say it I live in Arizona. If the legal weed law gets passed here, do you guys think they will let my uncle out of jail?
TLDR: Got family high on Cannabutter. Uncle went to jail and mother kicked me out."
I've waited until the end of the article to mention this, but why the hell, when this person had a Mormon for a mother (figuratively, perhaps literally speaking), did he chuck cannabis butter in the fridge?
Featured image credit: Channel 4/Friday Night Dinner/4OD
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