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Great News Everyone: Gamma Rays From Black Holes Could Laser The Shit Out Of Us

Great News Everyone: Gamma Rays From Black Holes Could Laser The Shit Out Of Us

IT'S THE FUCKING DEATH STAR OF SCIENCE!

Patrick Hulbert

Patrick Hulbert

Credit: HARVII/Deviant Art

I was enjoying my day. It was just a standard, decent day. I'e enjoying catching up with the Olympics, the football season starts soon (Harry Kane to smash it again this season) and I've even bought a Tesco Finest mascarpone and ham pizza for tomorrow evening's dinner. Fucking Tesco's Finest! When I bought it I was fully aware that this actually made me a wanker.

There's plenty going on to keep me cheerful.

But I might not be here to appreciate any of this because, apparently, according to scientists, a black hole could spit out a bolt of gamma ray death, without any warning.

Credit: Kurzgesagt

The video simplifies the science behind it but my head still hurts a bit. It's basically a massive bolt of doom.

The most annoying thing about this video is the music while the narrator is explaining that we could get our arses handed to us by science. And the narrator doesn't seem overly bothered, either. Smug fucker.

The happy bastard also says: "Gamma ray bursts could even be one reason we don't see life anywhere else in the universe. They might be wiping clean huge chunks of it on a regular basis."

He leaves us with this: "There could already be a GRB [gamma ray burst] on its way to kill us all and we won't know it until it hits us."

Scientists have detected around 'one burst' a day from distant galaxies but if one goes off near us, it'll fry us like a charcoaled sausage on a barbecue. Brown bread that's burnt to a cinder.

Gamma ray burst. Credit: NASA

Gonna finish my shift now and enjoy that pizza, before it's too late. It can't wait until tomorrow.

*Note: For those that didn't get the fact I've been taking the extreme angle that we are fucked as a tongue-in-cheek piece, please be rest assured we're probably all fine. Please don't spend every day like it's the end of days.

And to leave you, bearing in mind a gamma ray burst sounds like one fuck off bolt of light, here's a few laser-related Gifs for you.

Featured Image Credit:

Topics: Sun