Python Crawls Up Toilet And Bites Man's Penis While He's Having A Poo

I've said it before and I'll say it again, having a poo is the best time of the day for blokes.

We can sit on the toilet, stretching out having a shit for as long as possible, forgetting about the world.

There's not much that can go wrong when you're on the throne - even the dreaded constipation is just an excuse to stay there longer.

However, Atthaporn Boonmakchuay, from Thailand, found that there's certainly one thing to be scared of whilst dropping the kids off at the pool.

An 11-foot python slithered its way through his pipes, slid up his toilet, and sank its fangs into his penis.

Credit: bangpakongnews

I know, I know. I had to take a moment there to wince and appreciate the condition of my dick.

Atthaporn reached down, only to feel the serpent's jaw locked around the tip of his length, in what can only be described at the worst blow job in history.

In an attempt to save his manhood, the 38-year-old Bangkok resident managed to tie a rope around the snake's head, and then tie it to the bathroom door before collapsing.

Credit: bangpakongnews

He was then taken to hospital, leaving behind a bloodstained bathroom.

According to the Mirror, after a large amount of blood loss, Atthaporn is in a stable condition in hospital.

Credit: bangpakongnews

I hope to god his penis is alright, too.

Words by Mark McGowan

Topics: python, Snake

Mark McGowan

Mark is a journalist at LADbible, who joined in 2015 after a year as a freelance writer. In the past he blogged for independent football fan channel Redmen TV, after graduating from Staffordshire University with degrees in journalism and English literature. He has worked on campaigns such as UOKM8? and IIOC.