What a time to be alive. Well, think about it: this is a golden age of television, and we've got more shows to look forward to than ever before. I'm only slightly being facetious.
OK, so there's isn't a great deal to look forward to in the world at the moment, but we like to put a little light into your life. Here's the best telly you have to come in 2021. You'll definitely get to see it at least: we're all at home, watching Netflix.
First up: entertainment meets learning. If you've not had your head in a bin for the last week or so (and who could blame you if you had), you'll have noticed that America is a bin fire of a nation and the arsonist in chief is about to be impeached for a second time. What better time, then, to learn about the last guy before Donald Trump to be tried in the US Senate: Simpsons cameo star and amateur saxophonist Bill Clinton.
My dad just called me downstairs (I was in bed already) to see the "movie that me and my friends play".- A Cruel Krostina's Thesis (@the_dice_goblin) January 9, 2021
There's Lord of the Rings on TV.
Speaking of things that were huge ages ago, Gossip Girl is getting a reboot. "Eight years after the original website went dark, a new generation of New York private school teens are introduced to the social surveillance of Gossip Girl," read a press release dated to the start of this year. "The prestige series will address just how much social media - and the landscape of New York itself - has changed in the intervening years." I'm a 31-year-old man and I unashamedly loved the original Gossip Girl and cannot wait for this.
While we're at it, 80s classic The Equalizer is getting a reboot too, with Queen Latifah in the lead role. Well, I say reboot: they say "reimagining", which is a fair amount of heavy lifting for one word to do when you've swapped a vengeful Edward Woodward on the vigilante trail for Queen Latifah.
If you're about my age, then you'll also remember just how bloody massive Lord of the Rings was in the early 2000s. I rewatched the films back in lockdown and they're legit still amazing, which makes me more excited than ever about the TV series. Amazon's version will be set before The Hobbit and the original trilogy, with a cast that includes Game of Thrones star Robert Aramayo, Homeland's Nazanin Boniadi and, confusingly, Lenny Henry, Peter Mullan (of Trainspotting fame) and, perhaps weirdest of all, Lloyd Owen from Monarch of the Glen. One of the great joys of American telly having to do all fantasy characters as British or Irish is the strange domestic level actors that end up on the most expensive TV ever produced.
Nine Perfect Strangers, the 2018 bestseller, will get an adaption with Nicole Kidman in the starring role. It should be with us sooner rather than later, as it was filmed in Australia, where life is tentatively kind of normal.
Last on the list will probably be the last to arrive in 2021: the new Resident Evil. We've play the game in the 90s, enjoyed the movies in the 2000s (well, some of them) and then got back into the games again in the 2010s. It's inevitable, then, that a TV series would be next in line. At the moment, we know nothing about the production, nothing about the cast and nothing about the story, but it's coming to Netflix and, by the time it arrives, a dark horror story about zombies in a dystopian world will probably just look like the RTE News.