I didn't catch Channel 4's A Very British Brothel last night and I don't think I ever will judging by the fact I've just found out it featured some old fella who liked to bathe in fucking custard.
Way to ruin one of the nicest treats going, mate.
If you have perversions, then enjoy the video here.
Credit: Channel 4
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Yes, unfortunately, viewers were subject to coverage of a 'massage parlour' in Sheffield called City Sauna to the lusts of 63-year-old Owen, who brought along three tins of 69p custard to spice, or sweeten, things up a bit.
Credit: Channel 4
The dessert could be seen getting dumped into a jacuzzi, inside the VIP suite he'd booked for an hour with City Sauna temptress, Jo.
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Owen could later be heard saying behind closed doors, "Oh yeah! All over!", which is similar to what I say when I fill my fridge with Stella.
Of course, people fled to Twitter to vent their horror at the scenes.
John McDermott said: "Am never gunna eat custard again. #verybritishbrothel."
Andy Armstrong added: "#verybritishbrothel I don't think I can look at custard again. Especially 69p."
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Aimee Cook had similar feelings, saying: "That's put me off custard for life #verybritishbrothel."
Some users, like one called Laura, even criticised his choice of brand, saying: "He doesn't even use decent custard!!... Tramp!! #verybritishbrothel."
Jo didn't seem too phased by the backlash, revealing: "I like to think I'm quite experimental, I've not had anything really that I can think of that I've had to say no to. Not as yet anyway."
Day = ruined. No, in fact. 2017 = ruined.
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Featured image credit: Channel 4
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