Former England footballer Rio Ferdinand has opened up about his wife's death, saying the guilt he felt over her death made him turn to alcohol.
Rio was taking part in a BBC documentary, Rio Ferdinand: Being Mum And Dad, which is being aired on Tuesday 28th March at 9pm on BBC One, when he broke down when talking about how he 'self-medicated' with alcohol to cope with the grief of losing his wife to breast cancer in 2015.
He is now a single parent to the couple's three children, Lorenz, 10, eight-year-old Tate and Tia, five.
Credit: Instagram/Rio Ferdinand
Advert
He said: "At the beginning I was drinking a lot at night time.
"We have a lady lucky enough who lives with us, she would go to bed and I'd come back down in the middle of the night and probably drink a lot for the first three or four months. But I would get up and do the school run and stuff."
Rio added: "Playing football was a fucking walk in the park compared to telling your kids their mum isn't coming back."
He also revealed that since her death he knows how to sympathise with people who end up in a 'dark place' due to grief, before adding that having his children around him gave him the strength to succeed.
Rio said: "That's why a network of people around you is so important. And I was fortunate to have that and also having my kids as inspiration to make sure I get up and do things and try and make things work.
"Some people aren't afforded that, some people haven't got that, and that's when I started to become a bit more sympathetic when people do go to places that are dark places.
"I used to look at people or read stories and think, how can you be so selfish and commit suicide or attempt to commit suicide or whatever.
"But I can actually sympathise now because I understand that you get to places where you think, if I didn't have that network of people or my kids who I use as an inspiration to be able to get up and think straight, I can understand that."
Advert
Credit: BBC/Rio Ferdinand: Being Mum And Dad
In an interview with the Radio Times ahead of the documentary being aired, Rio spoke about this struggles to be 'mum and dad' to his kids.
He told the magazine: "Rebecca would fill in all the blanks that I wasn't involved with, but now it's a totally different scenario. Where are their shoes? Where are their clothes? Where are their bags?
"Then you get in the school playground and you've got parents coming up to you, 'Can we take him to a play date? Would you have so-and-so?' And your kid's saying, 'Can I bring so-and-so home?'."
Advert
Fair play to Rio for speaking out.
Featured Image Credit: BBC / Rio Ferdinand: Being Mum And Dad