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Selfridges has skipped the last remaining month of summer and opened up its Christmas shop.
Who needs barbecues, carnivals or even Halloween when we can have Jesus' birthday in August?
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The famous Oxford Street store has decorated its entire fourth floor with 50,000 Christmas goods.
So why has the store done it? Bosses spoke to the Evening Standard, revealing the premature winter wonderland can be boiled down to the demand from foreign tourists.
This has been going on for a few years. An article from the Daily Telegraph five years ago states both Selfridges and Harrods are accustomed to opening up their Crimbo ranges ridiculously early. It's also co-written by my manager, so brownie points and all that.
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Geraldine James, one of the employees behind the move, said: "We've been working on this year's Christmas Shop since Christmas last year.
"We have so many customers visiting from all over the world and eager to snap up festive souvenirs on their summer holidays, which they can't buy at home.
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"So, we have to make sure we're ready to showcase Christmas decorations they will truly treasure."
Fuck that. The Summer Olympics haven't even started yet.
Words by Josh Teal
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