Back in the day when it came to PE lessons, if you forgot your kit it was a nightmare with endless possibilities. What will you be kitted out in? You'll most likely end up playing badminton in your shoes from Clark's, an old skirt from lost property and a fencing mask. The laughing stock of the sports hall.
When it comes to Helen Smith's physical sessions, if you forget your gear, it doesn't matter. In fact, if anything, it shows that you're eager.
Helen has started the first ever nude-ercise class, where people are invited to workout completely naked.
People aged between 33 and 70 can attend the hour-long classes on Saturdays in Southampton, where there's no need to wash sweaty clothes after the workout, and you can flaunt your assets while you give them a good kick up the arse.
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"The main benefit of exercising naked is that you can really see what the instructor is doing in the exercises," Helen says. "For example, if you are doing a plank but wearing baggy exercise clothes, it is hard to tell if you have the correct form or not."
Those who attend will do jumping-jacks (while others watch out for flying objects), sit-ups, push-ups and partner work. Hopefully the partner work does not involve spotting someone during squats.
The instructor, from Basingstoke, had the brainwave which lead to the inaugural nude-ercise class when someone asked her whether she did nude fitness training.
"I decided to look into it, and I couldn't find anything else like it. I think I'm offering the first classes like this," she said. "The focus is to allow people to take part in a normal activity, but naked, so people don't feel they are doing anything unusual."
The idea is that, no matter what your body looks like, underneath, we're all the same. 'It's about normalising the human form," says Helen, seeing the naked body as nothing more than nature.
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She said: "I was introduced to naturism in the South of France when I was on holiday with my partner.
"We turned up at a beach, and realised in was a naturist beach. I looked at him, and he looked at me, and we thought 'let's do it'."
If you're not into fitness and have let your body get to a point where you think 'fuck it' and continue to let it get out of shape, then fear not. Just do everything naked and feel like you're halfway to the fitness classes.
We're all lazy, so just be lazy without your clothes on. Watching tele? Do it naked. Cooking? Lose your threads. Hoovering? Hey, get rid of your clothes.
There are certain problems you face when working out in the nude. For example, I imagine that the chaffing is God awful, and if your body sticks or slides on a surface, the friction burn would be horrific.
If you're Roberto Esquivel Cabrera, the man with the world's biggest penis, you'd face a very different and quite unique problem, in that there's a genuine chance that at any given time your cock might knock you out during star jumps.
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The classes are circuit based, meaning there's no equipment that may go missing mid-workout; a bike seat, for example.
Mr Campbell, a 66-year-old naturist who enjoys working out, is a big fan of the exercise class.
"People do exercise to improve their body as well as to keep fit. And a benefit of exercising naked is that once you strip away the clothing then what's left is what's left - there's nothing to be self-conscious about," he says. "The class was similar to normal circuits classes, but a bit more playful in the way that it wasn't all hardcore exercise and involved games and was about working comfortably.
"It's really good being naked, especially doing core work, because you are actually able to see your core, and that's really useful to make sure you have the right form."
The upside is that if you can pluck up the courage to be naked in front of a group of strangers while throwing your body from side-to-side and up and down, then you can grow the confidence to be naked in front of anyone.
There is a thorough check that has to be done for people wanting to take part in order to filter out the creeps, weirdos and perverts.
"Participants are required to pre-register by emailing me, and to show ID at the beginning of the class, just for everyone's peace of mind," Helen says. "Nothing untoward happens in these classes, and if there was any hint of that then the person responsible would be asked to leave."
We're unsure of what the protocol is for anyone who may become 'excited' during the class, but that's technically nature too, so maybe it's okay.
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In terms of working out without your clothes, I think we do need to outline what can and can't be done.
- Squats. You don't want any unfortunate accidents occurring.
- Rock climbing. Sharp things. Ouch.
- Public jogging. For obvious reasons.
- Bike riding. You never know where the seat might end up.
- Boxing/Sparring/Wrestling. Things may be touched. Things may be hurt. And things may be used as a foreign object.
- Yoga. People may see areas of your body no one has ever seen before.
- Jump rope. You don't want that rope getting tangled anywhere precious.
Also, while we're on the subject, don't go bouncing into your local gym with no clothes on. You'll not only be kicked out and have your membership revoked, and face a date in court.
Don't go running in the park naked either. Not that you need telling.
Would any of you fancy working out in your birthday suit?
Featured Image Credit: Solent News & Photo AgencyTopics: Exercise