Council Tells People To Be Aware Of Arse Biting Rats Whilst Having A Poo
Not many things will strike a fear into someone when they're on the shitter.
After all, for us lads, it's a time of zen. The most peaceful time of the day.
Because of this we'd never give a second thought to arse biting rodents, creeping up the toilet ready to make your day a lot worse.
Councillor Noel Collins, from Cork County Council, has warned people to be aware of exactly that happening to them whilst on the lav.
A man in Midleton complained to Councillor Collins after a rat chomped on his cheeks after floods in the area swept rats around broken sewer pipes.
"The flooding resulted in another problem for residents, that of rat infestation, which really upset many families, mentally and physically, and indeed, one elderly gentleman suffered a rat bite to his posterior while using his toilet, and had to receive immediate medical attention," he said, according to the Evening Echo.
In what might be the most solid advice to ever come from a man's mouth, Councillor Collins added: "I would advise homeowners to keep their toilet seats down when not in use, and to watch their posteriors."