Pablo Escobar's Former Hitman Has Sent Luis Suarez A Message
As a Liverpool fan, there's nothing I miss more than Luis Suarez.
Yes, typically, I'm holding onto the past. But I'm a Liverpool fan, it's in my blood to dwell on things that have gone before rather than the present.
Given the emotional attachment I have to Suarez, who is now a Champions League winner, you can imagine I shit my pants when I found out that Pablo Escobar's former hitman had sent him a message.
At first I imagined the worst, that the assassin was out to kill the buck-tooth goalscorer, which would really stunt my dreams of the Uruguayan returning to the shores of the Mersey and winning everything under the sun.
On the contrary, however, John Jairo Velasquez, also known as 'Popeye', was sending a tribute message to Luis.
'Popeye', who was convicted in 1989 after murdering Colombian presidential candidate Luis Carlos Galan, said: "Hello, I am John Jairo Velasquez Vasquez, Popeye, the personal hitman for Pablo Emilio Escobar Gaviria.
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"I come to send a strong salute to the Uruguayan football team, and champions Luis Suarez and Edinson Cavani.
"Receive all my love, my respect, you who are the strength of your people, the pride of your people.
"From Medellin, Colombia, I am to congratulate them for being great warriors.
"Receive all my love and respect from these streets. Big hugs."
The former hitman, who was once the most feared assassin in the Medellin cartel, set up a YouTube channel in 2014 called 'Remorseful Popeye', where he shares videos urging others not to choose a life of crime.
It's certainly a weight off our shoulders that he's not out to murder one of the world's most gifted footballers.
Featured image credit: @ValeFlet/PA