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Teachers Have Lives Too And Sometimes It Might Just Be Porn

Teachers Have Lives Too And Sometimes It Might Just Be Porn

It shouldn't be, but ah well.

Mark McGowan

Mark McGowan

What with the huge influence social media has these days, people are becoming more aware than ever that their teachers aren't simply just cockroaches in human costumes - they're actual people with actual lives. Absolute madness.

Bumping into your maths teacher in ASDA, for example, is always an odd one. Despite the fact they're just a person getting their shopping, there's a burning desire to tell someone about it.As shocking as it is that they do have lives, it's nowhere near as shocking as finding out that in their spare time they're partial to a bit of porn. I don't mean watching it, either... I mean making it. AND I don't mean crappy little softcore rubbish, I'm talking full-on hardcore.

Credit: CEN

Imagine it, you've buckled down for an evening dabble in self-appreciation, followed by wallowing in self-pity, but then, in a thumbnail half way down your chosen site of smut, there she is: Miss Smith*.

There's two ways it can go, really. The first is thinking that you've finally struck gold. You can now expand on that one time she bent over to pick up a pen, revealing the tiniest bit of skin around her right ankle after her full-length pencil skirt lifted up.

On the other hand there's the possibility that the sight of their face simply makes your skin crawl because once they caught you drawing a meat and two veg on a table with Tipex and sent you out of the room. Seeing them, on a porn site, would not only demote your penis to a flaccid state, but effectively send it shooting inside your body, like a turtle retreating into its shell.

It's possible that 27-year-old Svetlana Topol could have had both of those effects on her pupils, after links to her bawdiness were sent anonymously by email.

Credit: CEN

Weirdly, in the films, the teacher, from Russia, mostly starred as a young school girl, which makes one ponder over what she must think about in the staff room at lunch.

Apparently Svetlana, who is known by the names Ariel, Maud and Christie in the porn industry, is a terrible teacher, according to adult movie director Jack Bob. This really makes me taking the piss out of Mr Batch's golf swing after seeing him on the driving range seem awfully pathetic. Imagine it: #Oi! Miss! You're a shit teacher, but you're wicked good at, uhm, acting!!'

Rumours of Svetlana's X-rated antics were floating around the school in St Petersburg, which should come as no surprise.

There were whispers that one teacher had a metal boob in my school, which she used to stop people running in corridors. She'd just step in front of them and BANG, metallic breast strikes again. Or so the myth claimed.

Teachers have lives too.

Featured image credit: CEN

Featured Image Credit:

Topics: Teacher