A man got more than he bargained for when he sneaked up on his girlfriend while she was straightening her hair.
Dan Dunn decided that, for a joke, he'd dangle his exposed penis behind her while in the bedroom.
Hey, there's no issue with that. It's the kind of thing couples do all the time, right? Like flashing your bra or getting your arse out. That's love, people.
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However, Savannah Boyce, 24, responded by shooing away her fella, snapping her straighteners 'like a crocodile' and well...
Yup, you guessed it. She trapped his penis with her 230 degree centigrade hair straighteners. The 27-year-old screamed in pain and ran to the bathroom where he was promptly sick and quickly dunked his little solider in cold water.
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Dan told the Sun: "It was excruciating - no man should ever have to experience pain like that - I almost fainted."
He went to the hospital where nurses treated him for two burns on either side of his, well, shaft.
Apparently he's now sleeping with a pillow in between his legs - ouch.
Savannah is 5ft 2ins and Dan is 6ft 1, so as she was stood at the mirror, her hand was just about crotch level.
Credit: The Sun/News Group Newspapers LTD
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She said: "I was getting ready, so wasn't really in the mood. I had been using them for about five or 10 minutes so they were fully heated.
"He had exposed himself out of his track suit bottoms and was complimenting me, saying I looked nice. Dan has a habit of doing this, he always wants a bit and doesn't stop pestering me. I told him 'no' but he persisted.
"I began snapping together my straighteners like an alligator to make him back away and we were both laughing. But as he pulled himself from the back of my pyjamas, I accidentally clamped him, just for a second.
"He was howling in pain and ran to the bathroom where the cold tap went on full power. When he came out we inspected the damage. He was in agony.
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Credit: The Sun/News Group Newspapers LTD
"Dan wanted to keep it outside his trousers while I drove him to Medway Maritime Hospital because he couldn't bear anything to touch it, but instead we wrapped it in a plastic shopping bag"
It seems like Dan's still in good spirits about the whole thing. He added: "I should have known better than to approach her while she was armed and dangerous, but I can't help it, she is a sexy girl.
"It looks like I will be out of action for three months. I have learned my lesson.
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"Next time I want a little bit of nookie, I'll just ask politely starting with 'Savannah darling...'"
Careful, LADs. Watch out for straighteners.
Featured Image Credit: PA Images