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Did you know May is masturbation month? For you, like me, every month is probably masturbation month which renders the whole celebration of masturbating a bit pointless.
And let's be honest, wanking usually just leaves you sat naked on your bed panting with a wet tissue in one hand, while your other hand wipes your sweaty forehead and you're simply forced to loathe your own existence more than usual. There's been nothing to celebrate about a wank since the very first wank.
Though the feeling after a wank is always the same, what people wank to can vary...
Some people like some regular porn. Man. Woman. Plumber. Pipe fixing. All that stuff.
Some people like particular types of porn. Something exotic. Amazonian temptress meets lost frat boy in Walmart parking lot. That kinda shit.
Then there's the really weird porn I'd really rather not have to describe. You can search for that shit yourselves but don't come crying to me when your sex drive is beaten, battered and left for dead in the darkest corners of Pornhub.
Now, there are some people who don't need visual stimulants and can actually just imagine themselves having sex with anyone they want and get themselves off to that alone.
Often, these people will imagine celebrities they'd really want to do some naked bedroom dancing with. But which celebrities?
That's where we bring in the data from a survey conducted by WeVibe who wanted to find out which celebrities men and women are rubbing one out to in their minds.
Top of the list for heterosexual men was none other than Jennifer Lopez.
And for women it was Channing Tatum.
Also coming out highest in the men's list were Jennifer Lawrence, Jessica Alba, Kim Kardashian, Carrie Underwood, Emma Watson, Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, Beyonce and Kate Upton.
For women it was Ryan Gosling, Adam Levine, Johnny Depp and Justin Timberlake.
Can't really argue too much with either of those lists.
Words by George Pavlou
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