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It's been too damn hot in the UK. We're not used to these temperatures; isn't it supposed to be raining all the time?
You just need to take a walk around a park at lunchtime and you're faced with scores of men looking like Dr. Zoidberg after spending a few hours in their back gardens after work.
As much as we hope that the redness of our sunburn will subside and let the glowing bronze tan underneath shine, it isn't going to happen. You're going to peel like an orange within the next few days and the human jerky that's left in your hands will be the only reminder of the Great British summer that lasted approximately four days.
If you're one of those lucky people who can handle the hot weather, maybe you should pop over to the Middle East. They're currently enjoying (suffering?) temperatures of up to 54C (129.3F).
According to the Independent, a weather station in Mitribah took the potentially record-breaking temperature last week during an intense heatwave. In Iraq, the temperature went as high as 53.9C (129F) in the ancient city of Basra.
The World Meteorological Organisation needs to have a look over it and verify the claims. But if it agrees, it's probably the highest two temperatures ever recorded.
Why probably? Well, the official record for the highest temperature ever is 56.7C (134.1F) on 10 July 1913 at Furnace Creek Ranch in Death Valley, California.
However, this record is widely disputed. Back then, the recording equipment was not as reliable as modern day technology.
Christopher Burt, Weather Underground meteorologist, told the Indy: "That record has been scrutinised perhaps more than any other in the United States. I don't have much more to add to the debate aside from my belief it is most likely not a valid reading when one looks at all the evidence."
Records for places around Death Valley at the same time show that their temperatures were nowhere near the record-holding 56.7C, plus the wind conditions weren't favourable for those kind of temperatures.
Hmm, so it looks like this really is the hottest summer ever. For everyone in the UK who was struggling to get to sleep last night, you've got to spare a thought for everyone else around the world. That's not even a nice hot day, that's on the same kind of lines as hell on Earth.
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