Man Claims He Was In The Illuminati For 47 Years, No-One Believes Him
An Imgur user has accidentally mistaken the world's population for imbeciles after claiming to have spent 47 years in the Illuminati.
The apparent ex-member, who goes by the name stevestig76, was recruited when he was 19-years-old but had to flee its clutch following a meeting. Sure, mate.
Among his revelations is that Barack Obama is not a member of the secret society and that world leaders are gearing up for a World War 3. What, you mean stocking nuclear weapons? Crazy! Previously unheard of!
He also claims there are "439 bunkers in the entire world. ALL of these bunkers and bases are controlled and maintained by the Illuminati.
Here's some 'proof' of the Illuminati.
"The largest underground bunker is in São Paulo, Brazil. This bunker has the capability of holding up to 5,000 people for a period of up to 10 years.
"I have personally been in this bunker and it is much larger than anyone can possibly even imagine. The bunker is secured mainly for the events of the end times.
"5,000 of the world's richest, brightest and most powerful individuals will secure shelter in this bunker in the event of a global thermonuclear war, natural disaster, or any other form of global catastrophe."
Bunkers? In the event of a WAR? I can't fucking believe this stuff.
More Like ThisMore Like This
Man Who Says He Was Inspiration For Chris Lilley's Jonah Reveals How TV Character Hurt Him
Want to watch a legit Illuminati human sacrifice ritual? Be my guest...
Credit: Mark Dice
According to Steve, the 1969 moon landing was indeed real, but not the first of its kind. He says the Russians got there successfully seven years before the Americans ever did. Suspiciously, it was never documented. But I guess that's how the Illuminati rolls, isn't it!
One of the most absurd revelations made in the post is how the sect can even "shut off the sun".
Naturally, the response to Steve's boasts were rubbished.
lurkinginpublic (questionable name) joked: "For the first time: Illuminati not confirmed."
FeelingAverage (chin up, mate) added: "Ah yes, Imgur is the exact place I would want to reveal a huge government conspiracy."
Steve did not disclose whether Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton would be the next President of the United States, but I wouldn't question for a second that the Illuminati has informed him.
Featured image credit: PA