Scientists Discover A Volcanic Mushroom That Gives Women 'Instant Orgasms'
Sorry, lads. But there's a kind of mushroom that is going to steal yo' girl.
We haven't got a picture of it, but I assume it'll resemble a toadstool but with a shaved sides haircut and really cool tattoo sleeves.
The mushroom hails from Hawaii and reportedly gives women spontaneous orgasms. The bright orange fungi was discovered in volcanic slopes.
HOWEVER. This mushroom was discovered in 2001 and it's still not on the shelves of every single pharmacy, supermarket and fucking Home Bargains in the world. What's up with that?! Surely, if this mushroom is as good at making women orgasm as it claims, it'd be everywhere? It's the fungi version of your mate Daz, who swears that his 'techniques' work 'every single time'. I'm not buying it.
According to the MailOnline, a study was carried out after the discovery of the mushroom back at the beginning of the last decade, which suggested that around half of all women reach climax from its odour.
The study, which was published in the International Journal of Medicinal Mushrooms in 2001, tested the mushroom's aphrodisiac effect on 16 women and 20 men. Six of the women tested had orgasms, and then other ten experienced faster heart rate - although these ten were given a reduced dose in comparison to the six lucky gals who got off on it.
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They wrote: "There are significant sexual arousal characteristics present in the fetid odour of this unique mushroom.
"These results suggest that the hormone-like compounds present in the volatile portion of the spore mass may have some similarity to human neurotransmitters during sexual encounters."
Others who have smelt the mushroom have claimed it stinks of 'rotten, diseased semen' and had no effect.
Hmm. Think I'll give it a pass.
Featured image credit: Universal Pictures/ PA Images