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This Is The Most Dangerous Sex Position For Men

This Is The Most Dangerous Sex Position For Men

You really don't want this injury.

Liam Bond

Liam Bond

Warning: The following information may put you off sex for life. Seriously, writing this article has made the very thought of getting a boner give me a panic attack.

We're talking about penile fractures. Yep, they're a thing. A study published in Advances in Urology has reviewed the causes and symptoms of having a fractured penis. This isn't just a snapped banjo, oh no, this is a full-on snapping of the penis. A cracking sound, unbearable pain, bruising and swelling. And yes, a friend assures me it's even more painful than it sounds.

You're probably now wondering how you can avoid this ever happening to you.

Emergency records at hospitals in Brazil showed that the 'cowgirl' and 'reverse cowgirl' positions are responsible for half of all penile fractures. If you play it safe with the missionary position, you might have really boring sex, but you won't run the risk of giving your dick a right angle.

via GIPHY

The research concluded: "Our study supports the fact that sexual intercourse with 'woman on top' is the potentially riskiest sexual position related to penile fracture.

"Our hypothesis is that when woman is on top she usually controls the movement with her entire body weight landing on the erect penis, not being able to interrupt it when the penis suffers a wrong way penetration, because the harm is usually minor in woman with no pain but major in the penis.

"On the contrary, when the man is controlling the movement, he has better chances of stopping the penetration energy in response to the pain related to the penis harm, minimising it."

If you're unfortunate enough for this to ever happen to you, go straight to hospital because you'll need emergency surgery. Again, doesn't sound very pleasant.

Non-surgical treatment can lead to up to 50% of patients being left with a permanently crooked dick (that's not the medical term FYI), erectile dysfunction and a lifetime of painful sex. As well as loads of nightmares of that fateful night your loved one came down on your manhood like a sack of spuds.

If the idea of your penis snapping has already made you squirm, please, for the love of God, do not search 'penis fracture' on Google images. You'll be scarred for life.

Unfortunately, you're not even safe if you stick to masturbation, because many people have actually broken their boner by masturbating too aggressively.

Be safe, lads, it's a dangerous world out there.

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