'The World's Largest Cow' Is Neither A Cow, Nor Particularly Large

So, that means that while he is still a big boy, the comparison to the other cows he was pictured with is not fair. It's like standing a basketball player amongst a field of jockeys. Of course, he looks massive.

Also, he's a damn sight older than the other cows pictured - they're about a year old, whereas Knickers is seven. Stand next to your baby brother and take a picture - nobody will be saying how big you've gotten.

"So, at seven he's had time to pack on an awful lot of weight."

There's a word in there that is a bit confusing, but leads us on to the second contention. He's not actually a cow - he's a 'steer'.

Despite the fact that they all look like cows to our untrained eyes, only female cattle who have had at least one calf are called cows in the business.

Steers are the name for castrated males. Knickers had his knackers cut off, therefore he's a steer and not - as you would think to look at him - a cow.

Remember we spoke about him being a Holstein before as well? Well they are a particularly large breed of cattle. Knickers is 6"4. That's huge, but by Holstein standards it is only just above average. The poor wagyu cattle around him are only tiny by comparison.

Knickers isn't complaining - despite the fact that they lopped his bollocks off - because his size has actually been helpful to him. Because he is so big, he couldn't be sent to slaughter. He just wouldn't fit through the processing machine. Every cloud, and all that.

There you have it - you're now an expert on cattle denominations and recognising the different types of cattle. Don't say we never teach you anything worthwhile.

Incidentally - it's a fucking cow. Don't @ me.