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50-year-old Paul Kenny was enjoying a nice, naked surf - as you do - on a nudist beach just off the coast of New South Wales this week, when all of a sudden the beast latched onto him.
While most of us Brits probably would've just succumbed to our fate and let the thing chow down on our withered remains, Paul being a no-nonsense Aussie launched an unrelenting attack on the creature until it let go of his arm and swam off (most likely while whimpering).
He said: "I think my arm got the end of his mouth. He just turned and snapped and got the end of it and just missed an artery, thank God.
"I just put my head down and headbutted it and then it just grabbed me, and I just started punching it until it let go.
"Then I started getting back out of the surf as quick as I could, holding my arm. There was blood everywhere and I was hoping it wouldn't come back."
It's just lucky the thing didn't get a hold of his tackle, if you know what I mean.
Bystander, Gary Sharp, who helped Paul with his wounds at the scene at Samurai beach, added: "I didn't think we would be treating a shark victim with no pants on, but he was starkers all the way."
Paul was treated with stitches in hospital and is said to be on the mend.
If you weren't already impressed with Paul's Chuck Norris levels of balls, apparently the beach had only recently reopened after being shut down when a whale had washed ashore, which is a sign of shark activity.
And The Sun reports that just last month two tourists were attacked in separate incidents at the Whitsunday Islands in Queensland.
Did any of that deter our Paul? Absolutely not - because when he's faced with a deadly creature, he just gives them nut and sends them packing.
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