'Vegan Friendly' Phrases Could Replace 'Offensive' Sayings According to Academics
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Not content with trying to stop you from enjoying your bacon butty and your roast dinner, they're now after your language as well.
For some time animal lovers have wanted to rid the English language of some of its best-loved sayings and according to academics in Wales they could soon have their wicked way, in yet another brazen example of what is surely 'political correctness gone mad'.
Shareena Hamzah, a researcher from Swansea University has said the growing popularity of the animal-free lifestyle could soon open up a can of worms linguistically, with certain phrases at risk of being removed from the lexicon. Forever.
She said: "If veganism forces us to confront the realities of food's origins, then this increased awareness will undoubtedly be reflected in our language and literature.
"The increased awareness of vegan issues will filter through consciousness to produce new modes of expression."
But if you follow the animal rights group PETA religiously, as I'm sure you do, then you will know that this is something they have already been calling for and have even come up with a bunch of alternatives - complete with colourful illustrations for school kids - which are just as fun and less offensive.
Peta says on its website: "The words that we use have the power to influence those around us. Unfortunately, many of us grew up hearing common phrases that perpetuate violence toward animals, such as 'kill two birds with one stone', 'beat a dead horse', and 'bring home the bacon'. These old sayings are often passed down in classrooms during lessons on literary devices.
"While these phrases may seem harmless, they carry meaning and can send mixed signals to students about the relationship between humans and animals and can normalise abuse.
"Teaching students to use animal-friendly language can cultivate positive relationships between all beings."
So which 'offensive' phrases could be on their way out?
According to PETA 'bring home the bacon' could be replaced by 'bring home the bagels', while 'flogging a dead horse' could have to make way for 'feed a fed horse'.
Some of the proposed alternatives don't quite have the same ring to them as the originals, for example instead of 'hold your horses' they say people could use 'hold the phone', and rather than 'all your eggs in one basket' how about 'all your berries in one bowl'. And even more bizarrely, they suggested 'feeding two birds with one scone' instead of 'killing two birds with one stone'.
They're not the catchiest.
Ms Hamzah said: "The image of 'killing two birds with one stone' is, if anything, made more powerful by the animal-friendly alternative of 'feeding two birds with one scone'."
She added: "Historically, the resources required to obtain meat meant it was mainly the preserve of the upper classes, while the peasantry subsisted on a mostly vegetarian diet.
"As a result, the consumption of meat was associated with dominant power structures in society, its absence from the plate indicating disadvantaged groups, such as women and the poor.
"To control the supply of meat was to control the people."
When will they stop?!?!