Elon Musk's Boring Company Is Raising Funds By Selling 'Boring' Caps
I'm calling it now - the seemingly-benevolent Elon Musk is some sort of supervillain, or at least an evil genius. Ok, I get that he's trying to end humanity's dependence on fossil fuels, colonise other planets, and have us traveling across the world in half an hour, but that has surely got to be a front for something, right? There's a dastardly motive at play here, I'm sure of it.
Anyway, the tech billionaire's Hyperloop project involves digging an intricate system of tunnels underneath the world to transport people around (some sort of sinister, Lex Luthor-inspired scheme, no doubt). Anyway, digging all of these tunnels costs a fair bit of money.
So now he's selling hats to fund his tunnel-boring company... which is called 'The Boring Company'. Oh, I get it.
He appears to be using the sales to fund his tunnel digging goal of $1,000,000 (£744,000) - and he's nearly there too. In fact, he's now said that the hats are soon to be off the market.
To preserve the transcendent majesty & specialness of The Boring Company cap, we are capping cap orders at 50,000 caps. Almost there ... https://t.co/YqjEQAfy3u- Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 3, 2017
On 3 December he tweeted: "To preserve the transcendent majesty & specialness of The Boring Company cap, we are capping cap orders at 50,000 caps. Almost there..."
Every 5000th buyer of our boringly boring hat will get a free hat signed by the delivery guy https://t.co/11TYEUSG4M- Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 3, 2017
He has also offered incentives to those who support him, tweeting: "Every 5,000th buyer of our boringly boring hat will get a free hat signed by the delivery guy."
That special hat delivery will take place deep within the real, but fictional (of course), tunnel we are building under LA while you drive the giant machine blindfolded. This will actually happen.- Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 3, 2017
And, bizarrely: "That special hat delivery will take place deep within the real, but fictional (of course), tunnel we are building under LA while you drive the giant machine blindfolded. This will actually happen."
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Whilst this all seems in good fun (and either pretty unlikely or pretty dystopian-sci-fi), the project is actually coming along pretty quickly. They've already started drilling, in fact.
As reported by Inverse, Musk recently gave some details of the tunnels' current status at the TED conference in Vancouver. "We bought some second-hand machinery; it's kind of puttering along but it's making good progress," he said.
His plan from the start has been to ease traffic congestion with tunnels; this would also help improve the environment as it would mean fewer emissions from cars (except, of course, his Tesla electric cars).
And at Texas A&M University he said: "It's not that hard, but if you have tunnels in cities, it would massively alleviate congestion.
"You could have tunnels at all different levels - you could have 30 layers of tunnels and completely relieve the congestion problem in high-density cities. So I highly suggest tunnels."
And in December last year he explained: "Traffic is driving me nuts. Am going to build a tunnel boring machine and just start digging. It shall be called 'The Boring Company'. Boring, it's what we do."
Hilarious. I'm not buying it though. His intentions seem too nice... Wait, this is part of some sort of elaborate scheme to take over the world and enslave us all, isn't it?
I'm onto you, Musk.
Words: Tom Wood
Featured Image Credit: PA / The Boring Company