In the latest piece of 'don't be an idiot and put random stuff up your vag' news, doctors are warning against putting chocolate inside your lady parts.
I mean, it's kind of obvious isn't it, and, like Alan Partridge, you wouldn't want people to think you're staging some sort of dirty protest - but there are legit health risks associated with what might seem like a romantic addition to your sex life.
Speaking to LADbible, experienced GP Dr Mary Lowth, explained that although incorporating food into foreplay is a perfectly acceptable way to get more out of your sex life, you need to be careful.
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If you decide to get all romantic and use things like chocolate and strawberries during sex, there are definitely some risks you need to think about.
Dr Lowth said: "The idea that sex and food go together is not odd, when you think about it. Both involve physical pleasure. Both are better when relaxed. Both are, hopefully, a bit of a treat. Both are things you enjoy together in a typical relationship.
"But, even if you put sterile chocolate into a sterile vagina with sterile fingers and have sterile oral sex, bacteria will find that chocolate and grow in it.
"And since none of the aforementioned are sterile, you can imagine. So no strawberries, no chocolate and, especially, no chocolate strawberries. It just isn't worth it."
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So basically, if you use chocolate, for the love of god make sure it's not too hot and also make sure you stick to external body parts. Makes sense really, doesn't it.
You might think that it's common sense to not put stuff in your vag, but lately we've had an influx of warnings about putting things in your foof (soz).
Thanks to the hot weather that recently boiled the UK, and most of Europe, doctors were forced to warn people of the dangers of putting ice lollies in their vaginas to cool themselves down.
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And then we also had a gynaecologist who took to Twitter to advise against putting cloves of garlic up there too.
In case you're wondering why such a warning would ever be necessary, basically there is a bit of an old wives' tale that suggests the popular cooking ingredient can be used to treat vaginal yeast infections.
But according to Dr Jennifer Gunter, there have been no studies to suggest garlic has any anti-fungal properties beyond the confines of Petri dish.
In fact, she warns that the vagina could serve as the ideal environment for the growth of dangerous botulism bacteria and that all the other potential kinds of bacteria could also make it worse, explaining it could in fact worsen an 'inflamed yeasty vagina'.
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Yum.
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