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The hangover - the friend we all have who is a bit of a tosser. We often wish they weren't a part of our life, but we know deep down they have our best interests at heart.
After all, who wouldn't be pissed the majority of the time if it weren't for that prick of a friend the hangover, putting his clammy hand on your shoulder and saying, 'don't you think four pints is plenty for a Tuesday? Come on, let's go home'? If only there was a magic hangover cure life would be so much better.
A lot of the time though it is quite gratifying to tell that smug prick to do one and order your fifth, but he doesn't do one for long. The next day the self-righteous bellend is back and making life hell; your brain is in a vice, your mouth is in a sandpit, your bowels are in a tumble dryer.
"I told you to stop didn't I? Hey? What is wrong with you? Why do you keep doing this to yourself? You really are a disgusting festering mess!" (My hangovers sound like Gordon Ramsay).
So which food is best to help banish that prick?
Well, according to LADbible readers who participated in a recent poll, the fry-up is the number one hangover cure... That friend who you'd rather hang out with, but you know deep down is a very bad influence.
"Hey get this down you, this'll sort you out. Hey, and I tell you what'll wash down this hash brown nicely, five more pints."
McDonald's was a run away winner in the first semi-final of the poll, winning 46 percent of the vote, with Chinese cuisine coming in second with 25 percent of the vote.
What's the best food to have to cure a hangover? (SEMI-FINAL 1)
- LADbible (@ladbible) November 6, 2018
Meanwhile, in the other semi, Macca's won 46 percent of the vote and KFC received a quarter of the votes.
What's the best food to have to cure a hangover? (SEMI-FINAL 2)
- LADbible (@ladbible) November 6, 2018
This set up a fiercely contested final between the fry-up and Maccie D's, with the fry-up edging it with 53 percent of the 16,744 votes cast.
It should come as no surprise that fry-ups and McDonald's came out on top, indeed there are scientific explanations for these choices.
Mammals naturally gravitate to fat dense foods high in calorific content, it's just that normally we have some self-discipline (some). Alcohol, as we all know, reduces our inhibitions, hence we have less restraint and go straight for the greasiest grub we can find.
It is also believed that brain chemistry could have something to do with it, namely the chemical galanin.
According to Popular Science, Professor William Gruchow said: "Galanin increases appetite for fats, and consumption of fat causes more galanin to be produced.
"Alcohol intake also results in increased galanin production.
"The bottom line here is that alcohol intake increases one's appetite for fat, and fat intake does the same. This is a double whammy for drinkers who eat fatty foods while drinking."
So it's a big fat slippery slope.
With regards to our old friend the hangover, he is still somewhat mysterious, but a combination of toxins and dehydration are understood to be at the heart of it. It's for this reason that rehydration tablets primarily designed for performance athletes, can also work wonders for hangovers, as this fantastic five star prouduct review on Amazon attests:
"What is this witchcraft of a product?!
"Let me tell you about a young whipper named Jonny. Now Jonny liked a beer, usually a solid real ale, wine or Bourbon. What Jonny didn't like that morning after feeling which can only be described as a Borrower jumping up and down on his temple until the concepts of space and time were no more.
"One life changing winter eve Jonny took a hydration tablet that rhymed with Cryorilite... and the miracle was born. He woke knowing that he had a beer the night before but the headache was no more!
"Pros: Drink a couple of pints of water with these for a solid chance to remove that headache from your morning hangover routine.
"Cons: Makes your poo a bit more solid from time to time."
But of course, if you really want to be sure to fend off a hangover there is only one surefire way to do it... As our smug old friend Mr Hangover would say, 'the best way to avoid a hangover is to not drink so much in the first place'.
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