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You Can Buy Christmas Crackers With Sex Toys Inside Them

You Can Buy Christmas Crackers With Sex Toys Inside Them

'Tis the season to be randy

Jake Massey

Jake Massey

Politicians keep telling us 'Christmas might be a little bit different this year', so why not go the whole different-Christmas-hog and buy Christmas crackers with sex toys inside of them?

After all, nothing quite says 'Merry Christmas one and all' like a sudden 'BANG', followed by a massive dildo flopping onto your dad's lap.

You can spice up Christmas dinner this year.
Ricky

The company behind the raunchy crackers, Ricky, claims it is 'the world's first Christmas cracker containing a surprise sex toy' - a claim I for one will not dispute.

Like standard crackers, you can't tell from the outside what lies within. As such, your dad is likely to be surprised when, instead of receiving a paper crown to put on his head, he gets a vibrating butt plug to put, well, up his butt.

Only 1,000 of the crackers have been made, and there are five different varieties.

Cracker-openers may receive a LUV EGG, which is 'a sex toy perfect for couples to carry out some high stakes remote control fun', or a Partner Plus Vibrator, which is designed to help couples 'climax together'.

There's also Ricky's Bullet Vibrator, the Pleasure Brush Vibrator and the Vibrating Handheld Masturbator - which has an open design that ensures its 'silky-soft wings wrap around for sensational penis stimulation'.

Anyone else hankering for a massive roast with the family right now?

Which toy will your dad get?
Ricky

The limited edition crackers are priced at £36 ($47.19), which is admittedly a fair bit more than your standard cracker.

Although in all fairness, how often do you use that tiny magnifying glass from last Christmas?

Conversely, all of these sex toys are rechargeable, meaning your dad can make use of his Vibrating Handheld Masturbator for years to cum.

Tom Thurlow, Founder of Ricky, said: "The Christmas cracker has been a British tradition for hundreds of years with Brits tugging on them since 1847.

"Here at Ricky we believed it was time they had a revamp and go against the grain with a sexy surprise.

Christmas is going to be different this year anyway.
Ricky

"This year has been hard on us all and I hope our Christmas crackers will inject some fun and frolics in to this year's Christmas festivities, making it a real December to remember!"

When purchasing the crackers, you can choose whether you want one for a male or female recipient, but the specific sex toy will remain a secret until tug time.

You can order yours here.

Featured Image Credit: Ricky

Topics: Christmas, UK News, Funny, Sex and Relationships, Interesting, Weird