Elderly Aussie Man Narrowly Avoids Going Blind After Savage Magpie Attack
People all across Australia are aware that while spring is a beautiful month filled with warmer weather and longer days, it's also treacherous and scary because of goddamn magpies.
One man has realised that all too well after nearly being blinded by one of the beady-eyed birds.
James Glindemann was minding his own business in a Victorian park this week when a magpie flew near him.
Speaking to the ABC, the man aged in his 60s said: "I sat down at a bench there and the magpie came up and I started talking to it because I like them.
"And it looked at me and I didn't give it any food, so it just attacked me."
Jesus H. Christ. If that's all it takes to set them off then I guess we'll never leave our homes.
James said it all happened so quick that he didn't even have a chance to defend himself.
"First it struck my left eye and when it landed back on the ground, I didn't drop my food and so it attacked me again in the right eye," he told the national broadcaster.
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"There was some blood that was dripping at one stage and it covered my eyes ... I could barely see, but I managed to find my car and I rang triple-0."
Thankfully, paramedics arrived quickly and they were able to treat him before the decision was made to airlift him to the Victorian Eye and Ear Hospital.
He went into surgery for around two hours and doctors are hopeful he'll be able to regain sight in both eyes.
James said the bird penetrated the cornea in his left eye and while the was no damage to the right eyeball, the area around it was very inflamed.
The Sale man isn't the only one to have been injured during the 2020 magpie season.
A website dedicated to cataloguing all the incidents and injuries has identified 4,140 individual attacks since the season began.
Shockingly, 515 people have been injured in these encounters, which span all up and down the east coast of Australia, with some sporadic attacks on the west coast and even one right in the middle of the country.
The increase in attacks and swooping coincides with their mating season and they're just being protective of their mates and babies. Don't take it personally.
Featured Image Credit: 9News