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Single Lesbian Adopts 'Man-Hating, Neurotic' Spawn Of Satan Dog After Seeing Viral Ad

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Single Lesbian Adopts 'Man-Hating, Neurotic' Spawn Of Satan Dog After Seeing Viral Ad

A single lesbian has reached out to the owner of a devilish sounding dog that was being put up for adoption.

Tyfanee Fortuna posted an ad on Facebook and did not sugarcoat Prancer in all his glory.

Despite the dog sounding like he was the literal spawn of Satan, he appealed to a woman living in Connecticut who literally thought 'what's the worst that could happen?'

Ariel Davis told Today: "I read the article, I connected to it, and I was like, 'You know what? Why not? I'll just send them an email."

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"I'm a single woman, I'm a single lesbian, I live with another woman, I don't have any men in my life, I work in a women's rehab, I don't have any other animals. It just felt like a perfect match."

Credit: Tyfanee Fortuna/Facebook
Credit: Tyfanee Fortuna/Facebook

The former owner of Prancer is relieved she doesn't have 'the constant haunting of a Victorian child' keeping her awake at night.

Tyfanee didn't mince her words when she described the animal she had cared for for several years.

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"I've tried for the last several months to post this dog for adoption and make him sound...palatable," she wrote. "The problem is, he's just not.

"There's not a very big market for neurotic, man hating, animal hating, children hating dogs that look like gremlins. But I have to believe there's someone out there for Prancer, because I am tired and so is my family.

"Every day we live in the grips of the demonic Chihuahua hellscape he has created in our home. He's literally the Chihuahua meme that describes them as being 50% hate and 50% tremble. If you're intrigued and horrified at how this animal sounds already, just wait....there's more.

Tyfanee Fortuna posted the viral ad on Facebook (Credit: Tyfanee Fortuna/ Facebook)
Tyfanee Fortuna posted the viral ad on Facebook (Credit: Tyfanee Fortuna/ Facebook)
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"Prancer came to me obese, wearing a cashmere sweater, with a bacon egg n cheese stuffed in his crate with him. I should have known in that moment this dog would be a problem."

Tyfanee explained Prancer's owner before her was an elderly woman who 'treated him like a human and never socialized him'.

She also added that people wanting to adopt him would have to be a single woman who isn't looking to get a boyfriend, husband or kids, doesn't like to have friends or family over and doesn't have any other pets.

Tyfanee said Prancer only likes women and 'hates men more than women do' and also terrifies other animals.

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Sounds like Ariel is perfect for the job.

Featured Image Credit: Tyfanee Fortuna/Facebook

Topics: News, Animals

Stewart Perrie
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