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Amazon Selling Nightstand That Doubles Up As Weapon For Home Self-Defence

Amazon Selling Nightstand That Doubles Up As Weapon For Home Self-Defence

If you've ever been back to someone's house and noticed they have a baseball bat next to their bed, it can look a little bit rough. I mean, it's all good having someone who is going to protect you from intruders, but it's a little bit... well, intense, isn't it? Doesn't help much if it's a cricket bat, either.

Naturally, someone out there has thought of a product that resolves the key issue of keeping your home safe while not looking like the sort of person who's pretty psyched to swing a bat in someone else's direction.

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Simply head to Amazon and you too can sleep soundly knowing you've got the protection you need, and it looks sleek AF - 2019, eh? What a very, very weird time to be alive.

What a serene scene. Credit: Amazon/Woodquail
What a serene scene. Credit: Amazon/Woodquail

Basically, it's a chic nightstand that miraculously doubles up as a bat and shield to help protect you from robbers and murderers - practical on two levels and also nice to look at.

To be fair, if you've ever experienced a break-in, you'll know it's pretty terrifying, so this should help you sleep at night.

For the most part, the Woodquail Bat and Shield, Bamboo Self Defense Night Stand will play the role of the bedside table in your life. Use it for your Netflix binges, your cup of cocoa, your pizza in bed. Ideally, that's all you'll ever need it for.

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But then, should the worst happen, and that noise you hear in the night turns out not to be a figment of your imagination, or the floorboards creaking, you need not worry. Just quickly take apart your table and before you know it, you will be able to defend yourself.

Ready for action. Credit: Amazon/Woodquail
Ready for action. Credit: Amazon/Woodquail

The product description also says that it can simply be a 'visual warning' as opposed to full-on murder weapon, so that's... comforting, I guess?

It reads: "This Bat and Shield Set can be helpful as self-defence accessories in order to visually warn the intruder that you are protected.

"The bamboo material gives the Bat and Shield their effortless chic. As with all of our bamboo products, this one has been varnished to protect it against water and to make cleaning easy.

"It can be also a piece of modern designer furniture if you use it as bedside table. The staples can be used for cables. Designer furniture tends to combine aesthetic & practical functions.

Visually intimidate those robbers with your new shield. Credit: Amazon/Woodquail
Visually intimidate those robbers with your new shield. Credit: Amazon/Woodquail

"It is equally suitable for both a male and female bedroom. It is reported that 50% of people in the UK are worried about security at night. That's why having a means of self-defence by your bedside is psychologically comforting. Many people use an alarm system, but it's not necessarily active when you're in."

Nightstand or no nightstand, I would still mainly recommend calling the police if you do find yourself with an unwanted visitor in the house.

Featured Image Credit: Amazon/Woodquail

Topics: News, uk news

Amelia Ward

Amelia is a journalist at LADbible. After studying journalism at Liverpool John Moores and Salford Uni (don't ask), she went into the world of music. Quickly realising that you can't pay your bills with guestlist, she went back to her roots. In her spare time, Amelia likes music, Liverpool FC, and spending good, quality time with her cat, Paul. You can contact Amelia at [email protected]

 

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