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The Dutch government has advised single citizens to find themselves a lockdown 'sex buddy'.
This may seem like a bizarre thing for a government to recommend (the very thought of Boris Johnson saying 'sex buddy' is enough to send shivers down the spine) but the recommendation has been made in the interest of fairness.
The country has been on an 'intelligent lockdown' since 23 March, permitting small gatherings of people if social distancing is observed; however, the government has acknowledged that the 1.5m distance rule in the country prohibits singletons from sexual intimacy. As such, the National Institute for Public Health and the Environment (RIVM) has updated its guidance, allowing singletons to make sensible 'sex buddy' arrangements.
"It makes sense that as a single [person] you also want to have physical contact," the guidance reads.
"Discuss how best to do this together. For example, meet with the same person to have physical or sexual contact (for example, a cuddle buddy or 'sex buddy'), provided you are free of illness.
"Make good arrangements with this person about how many other people you both see. The more people you see, the greater the chance of (spreading) the coronavirus."
The guidance also outlines a number of ways people can have 'sex' while adhering to social distancing and minimising the risk of spreading Covid-19.
A list reads as follows:
Christ, I for one have not had that kind of Zoom meeting in lockdown. Yet.
The policy was updated after outcry from singletons who argued social distancing rules were much more difficult to adhere to for them.
Linda Duits, a journalist specialising in gender issues, wrote in an opinion piece for Het Parool: "Proximity and physical contact are not a luxury, they are basic needs.
"If we have learned anything from the Aids epidemic, it is that not having sex is not an option."
At the time of writing, the death toll in the country stands at 5,643, with 43,681 people testing positive.