A drug runner has been described by his own lawyer as 'hopeless', 'negligent', and 'shambolic' after he crashed into a police car whilst driving a van full of 260 kilograms of crystal meth.
Simon Tu, 28, has been described as 'Australia's dumbest criminal' after he ploughed his Toyota HiAce van full of drugs into some stationary police vehicles in the Eastwood area of Sydney on a Monday morning in July 2019.
He was just trying to drive his illegal cargo past a police station on Ethel Street when he unwittingly smashed into two New South Wales police vehicles.
Well done.
For his part, Tu kept right on driving until he was picked up about an hour later, when he said that he'd had a 'microsleep' at the wheel of his vehicle and told officers he was carrying 'food around Sydney'.
Of course, that's when they discovered the meth.
Now, he faces up to 20 years in jail when he is sentenced later this week.
Tu, wearing his green prison attire, watched on a video link as his lawyer argued that he was just a simple courier.
Barrister Mr Boulten said: "His driving is what gave it away, and his role was to drive,
"In some senses it was a hopeless execution of the task he was asked to perform."
He went on to described Tu's behaviour as 'shambolic'.
Judge Hock, presiding, said: "I accept that submission. Shambolic is a good word."
Tu has also yet to explain where he got the drugs from, or reveal the identity of the organised crime group that he may have been working for.
It's not clear whether he had the drugs in the van at the time of then crash, or if he went and got them afterwards before he was caught.
When the cops opened up the boxes in the back of the van, they told Tu: "Someone isn't going to be happy. You know how much it's worth?"
He replied: "A lot."
The police also discovered a note on his person that seemed to suggest that the drugs were picked up at a Pizza Hut in Eastwood.
There is no evidence that Tu had any role in the crime other than transporting the drugs; extensive fingerprinting found his prints only in the driver's seat and front of the van.
The agreed case facts state: "There is no evidence ... the offender played any further role other than as the driver of the vehicle which was transporting the drugs at the time he was apprehended."
Despite that, he faces a long custodial sentence.
This crash is one of the largest drug hauls ever taken in the history of NSW Police, with the drugs valued at around AUD $200 million (£112.3m / US $145.6m).
They'll not make many easier drugs busts, you'd have to imagine.
Featured Image Credit: NSW PoliceTopics: crime, Drugs, Weird, Australia, Cars