Today we bring you some great news. The fella with the bionic penis has finally lost his virginity, and it turns out he lasted longer than all of us did when we lost ours.
Mohammed Abad, 44, from Edinburgh, Scotland, had been living without his penis since he was six, when it was ripped off in an accident. He's now buried the bionic bone he had fitted in 2012.
He lost his manhood when he was hit by a car and dragged 600 yards. Ouch.
After a number of operations and doctors using a skin graft from his arms, he now has a fully functioning eight inch phallus.
If you're wondering how the fake dick works, here is an explanation:
Mohammed told New Day: "I've been waiting for this day since I was 18. But now a big burden is off my back and I'm so happy."
Mohammed lost his V to a sex worker called Charlotte Rose, who has slept with over 1,000 men and specialises in disabled clients. When she heard about his plight, she waived her usual £160 fee.
Charlotte Rose. Credit: Barcroft
Just like when you lost your virginity, there were plenty of nerves and it didn't go without hiccups.
At the first attempt, the penis malfunctioned with one side of the pump failing to properly inflate.
But on the second attempt, the penis pump worked at treat and the pair went at it like rabbits for nearly two hours.
Charlotte told New Day: "I wanted to make sure there was no pressure for Mo. There was a lot of fun, smiles and giggles. The room got quite heated."
"In the end, he lasted for an hour and three quarters. I was impressed."
Mohammed's goal is now to be in a long-term relationship by next year, and to ultimately become a father.
Fair play to him.
Words by Liam Bond
Featured image: Barcroft