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Always dreamed of having a bigger penis? Want to do something about it? Well don't - it never ends well (that's not speaking from personal experience, by the way).
One bloke found this out the hard way after injecting his member with petroleum jelly in a bid to make it bigger.
The unnamed 45-year-old from the South Pacific islands injected the goop into his shaft, but two years later, he wasn't celebrating a new and improved life courtesy of a massive dong, he was in A&E.
Yes, while this bizarre method doesn't actually make your penis bigger, it turns out it is a great way to make your penis bloodier and more rotten.
The case has been documented by Dr Amer Amin in Urology Case Reports, where he said the shaft in question had become 'grossly deformed'. To make matters worse, his flesh was visibly rotting and he was diagnosed with Fournier's gangrene - a life-threatening 'flesh-eating bug' of the genitals.
The man was subsequently taken for emergency surgery to remove dead flesh and drain fluid from his penis. It took a total of three operations to remove all the infected tissue, most of which was on his scrotum, and he was then transferred to the plastic surgery team who grafted skin on the affected areas.
Ultimately, medical intervention saved the man - whose fever-like symptoms died down after the ops - and he was allowed to leave hospital after a month.
According to The Sun, Dr Amin said in his report: "Penile self-injections are performed in order to attempt to increase penile size and have been reported to cause latent pain, ulceration and Fournier's gangrene.
"Common materials used for penile augmentation that have been described in the literature are mineral oil, petroleum jelly, nandrolone deconoate and waxes."
He added: "The most likely reason for the development of Fournier's in this patient would be related to having a foreign material, in the form of petroleum jelly, in the subcutaneous planes of the penile shaft which have secondarily become infected after the integrity of the skin barrier was breached after itching at the area.
"Interestingly, our patient reported that this practice was fairly commonplace in the South Pacific islands."
Fair play Dr Amin, that is interesting; though if there are any South Pacific islanders out there reading this, I think I speak for Dr Amin and the rest of the world when I say - size doesn't matter... as much as not having a rotten penis.
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