Mum Plays Dead When Her Kids Walk In On Her Having Sex
A woman in Australia has shared the mortifying tale of her kids walking into the bedroom she shares with her fella - while they were... umm, 'in the throes of passion'. Or mid-sex, to put it another way.
Instagram user and blogger Jessica Hood, aka House of Hoods, shared the devastating tale on social media, much to the amusement of her 53,000 followers.
Writing on Instagram, Jessica explained what happened.
She wrote: "Busted mid thrust. It's all happened to us. Its 9.30pm on a Wednesday, what could possibly go wrong? Little bit of nookie never hurt anyone, right? I thought my heart couldn't race any faster during such an intimate moment but now I'm on the verge of cardiac arrest.
"No amount of chairs or even a chested draw was gonna stop it. It was like a stampede of elephants except there was no warning.
"I mean, why would there be?! They're meant be asleep! So here I am, naked, not my best angle, legs sky high!
"Lucky I had Karl's pasty white ass blocking my 5 o'clock shadow because it could have been so much worse.
"It was like slow motion. The creak of the door, the hall light shining on our faces as if we were criminals of the night. My mum instinct kicked in and I did what anyone else would do in a situation like that.
"I played dead. I played bloody dead! I even threw a little bit of the tongue out the side of my mouth."
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Jessica explained that she had lost her dignity, saying she lay there 'dead, lifeless', adding she was 'going floppy' faster than her significant other, Karl. He covered them up with the duvet.
She added: "My thoughts were racing; 'So were we quick enough? What did they see? Oh my God, they're going to be in therapy for life!'
"My kids are young but not as innocent as I would like. Lily is seven and already gives the impression she knows a lot!"
When the kids asked what they were doing, her fella messed it up a bit. Instead of just going with one answer and sticking to it, he deviated from the 'playing possum' angle and threw them a curveball.
He said: "We are play fighting, I'm giving mummy a massage."
She added: "DUMB DUMB DUMB answer. REALLY KARL REALLY!
"Well, so I thought! Karl then tells them to get back to bed and our act of love seem to go unnoticed without any questions.
"That was until I heard Lily walking off with Logan up the hallway."
It turns out they definitely hadn't managed to pull the wool over the kids' eyes - as the children walked away, the eldest giggled, and said: "They were doing sex!"
Featured Image Credit: Instagram/Jessica Hood
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