A TikToker has shared an FBI negotiation technique, saying he believes it can help you convince others of a plan - including where you want to go for dinner.
TikTok user David Rooney (@david_rooney) posted a video captioned 'Eat where you want. Whenever you want'.
Advert
In the clip, he cited the work of a former FBI hostage negotiator called Chris Voss, who has previously spoken about the 'beauty of saying no' in his 2016 book Never Split the Difference.
The premise is pretty simple, as it basically involves reversing a 'yes-oriented' question into a 'no-orientated' alterative.
In his TikTok video, Rooney explains: "Here's a negotiation technique from an FBI negotiator.
"Chris Voss said if you can get the person to say no, you're more likely to convince them of your plan.
Advert
"Instead of asking 'Do you want to go to this restaurant for dinner?', try saying 'Do you have any objections if we go to this restaurant for dinner?'.
"Allowing them to say no, while also agreeing to your plan, makes them feel more comfortable."
His video has racked up more than 200,000 views and 17,000 likes.
Advert
Voss - who is also CEO of The Black Swan Group, which offers negotiation training for businesses and individuals - believes the word 'no' can 'break an impasse', 'get someone's attention' or 'help someone think clearly'.
On the website for The Black Swan Group, he writes: "Getting someone to say no is easy. It's one of the best communication skills you can possess.
"Just flip your yes-oriented questions into no-oriented questions. Instead of asking the maître d', 'Is it OK if we sit in the reserved section of the restaurant?' ask them, 'Would it be horrible if we sat there?'"
He continues: "Pretty much every yes-oriented question you ask can be flipped around by adding phrases like these to your statement: Have you given up on ... ? Is it ridiculous ... ? Would it be horrible ... ? Is it a bad idea ... ?"
Advert
In his book, Voss also outlines a similar technique that he calls 'The Rule of Three', which is a way of 'getting the other guy to agree to the same thing three times in the same conversation'.
According to a book summary from Samuel Thomas Davies, for the first time, someone agrees to something, before a second time you might label or summarise what they said so that they answer 'That's right'.
The third time could be a calibrated 'How' or 'What' question about implementation, which asks them to explain what will constitute success - for example, something like 'What do we do if we get off track?'.
Find out more about Voss' work here.
Featured Image Credit: PATopics: World News, News, FBI, TikTok