You Can Track Santa Claus As He Delivers Gifts Across The World
Remember lying in bed, struggling to get to sleep, wondering when Santa Claus would come down your chimney?
But maybe you'd be able to put your mind at rest if you could track the bearded bastard's precise location at any given moment.
Well, you can. Of course.
North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD... I have no idea why that isn't NAADC) have actually been providing the service for many years.
The organisation spends 364 days a year doing mundane stuff like checking for nuclear attacks, but on Christmas Eve, all eyes turn to the big LAD on the sleigh.
Around 1,500 volunteers are required on the day to answer more than 140,000 calls enquiring about Santa's whereabouts.
But how does Santa manage to visit every home in just one day? Well, he ain't got time for any inefficient zig-zagging bullshit; he has a very clearly planned route.
He starts off delivering in the South Pacific before heading west over New Zealand and Australia. From there, he dashes across Asia, Africa and Europe, before zooming across to North America and finishing off the job in South America.
At the time of writing, Santa was last seen in Macau and was on his way to Bandar Seri Begawan, Brunei. However, he will obviously be much further along by the time you're reading this, as he has to go at full tit to make sure he gets to everybody in time.
And by full tit, I mean full tit.
If he's to make it to every house he needs to cover an estimated 510,000,000km. To complete this vast route in such a limited time frame, his space reindeers will need to pull him at a speed of 2,900km per second.
Tough shift... No doubt all 10 of the flying present posse spend every other day of the year dreading Christmas Eve like fuck.
According to The Telegraph, NORAD have been taking calls from children wanting to trace Santa for more than 60 years, while the online tracking service has been going since 1997.
But while Santa was only being watched by a few rich nerdy kids on a big white shoe-box of a computer back then, there will be millions in bed on their smartphones following him this year.
Remember though kids, just cos Santa has passed over your house doesn't mean you will have presents under the tree. A watched kettle won't boil and a diligently tracked Santa won't visit.
Featured Image Credit: PA