Manchester Utd Player Marouane Fellaini Has Cut His Hair
What do you think of when you think of Marouane Fellaini: the finest chest controller in the game, the physical embodiment of Manchester United's decline, or Sideshow Bob?
Well, at least one of the three associations above is no longer applicable courtesy of a birthday trim. That's right, the afroed (is that a word?) Belgian has departed with his trademark barnet, revealing an alarmingly small head beneath.
In doing so, the attacking midfielder-cum-defensive midfielder-cum- centre forward (in the last 20 minutes when Utd are losing) has rendered fans' favourite Fellaini-based chant obsolete:
"Big hair elbows,
"Elbows big hair!"
The 6ft 4in behemoth shared a picture of his new trim on Twitter, with the message: "New year, new look #birthdaytomorrow"
Fellaini will turn 31, however the post has sparked some confusion, as his birthday is listed online as 22 November; is our trusty friend the internet wrong? Perhaps Fellaini's powers of memory were contained within his fro, and now he has inadvertently parted with both his locks and all recollection of when his birthday is.
It also remains to be seen how his heading will be affected as a result of his hair's departure. Evidently, the general surface area of his head has been significantly reduced and he has executed flick-ons in the past which seemed to only make contact with his hair, almost springing off it.
Indeed, many fans seemed concerned that he as a player and the club as a whole could be negatively impacted by his trim.
But what if all your power was in your hair? :flushed:
- Adam (@ProfDumblewhore) November 14, 2018
Nnnoooooooooooo, you've lost about 6inches of you aerial threat now!!
- Mr J (@Alidan80) November 14, 2018
Well that's it, liquidate the club.
- Keith Russell (@Keith_Russell) November 14, 2018
But on the other hand, the curls of his previously massive hair have on occasion appeared to droop into his eye-line, much like when Sideshow Bob steps on a rake, so perhaps his 'new look' will enable him to look at the ball more easily.
Another question, that doubtless many people are asking, is what has been done with the severed hair? It would be a travesty if it has been scooped up and chucked in the bin. Here's hoping it was removed with one clean cut, in order to be auctioned off at a charitable Christmas dinner.
Featured Image Credit: PA