eBay Seller Says ‘Slab Of Misery On Wheels’ Is Reminder Of ‘Terrible' Life Choices
A person selling a campervan on eBay has given prospective buyers a hilariously brutally honest overview of what to expect from the 'slab of misery on wheels', also explaining they're flogging the vehicle as it serves as a reminder of some 'terrible' life choices after buying it with an ex.
The seller listed the Bedford CF Motorhome on the auction site for £300, saying in was initially inteded to be a 'joint' project with his now ex-girlfriend.
In the listing, they wrote: "Well, well, well. Where do I start with this?
"Up for sale is my 1984 Bedford CF camper van. A perfect restoration candidate for another coerced partner, or sadist.
"I never wanted a campervan, my now ex-girlfriend did. So we comprised and purchased a camper, without ever laying eyes on it first might I add.
"It was intended to be a 'joint' project which in reality turned into her standing round for half a day complaining about the shed we'd brought, and the remainder of the time on my back about how long it was taking to transform it into her 'perfect tranquil cabin on wheels'. Yikes.
"Fast forward a few months and she decided to up and leave (probably for a man with a much more impressive motorhome than mine) leaving only behind this sad slab of misery on wheels.
"Apart from being an eyesore and driving down local property prices, it serves as a personal reminder that the last few years of my life have truly and utterly been a waste."
They explained that there are some positive aspects to the van, saying it's 'rock-solid underneath', doesn't leak 'anymore' and is fully insulated.
The brakes also 'worked' well, and the caravan comes with 'loads of wiring tackle', a water pump, filter, cladding and a heater, along with 'a whole load of other c**p'.
The seller added a list of 'the bad' as well, explaining that the van is 'profoundly ugly' and is 'unfinished', adding: "It taunts me daily of my past failures and lost love."
Concluding the description, the ad said: "If you do decide to bid on it and God forbid you actually win, you will have to get it transported or collect it yourself as I have neither the time, the means or the will to deliver it for you.
"I will do my best to answer any serious queries, but if you ask me about the flow rate of the shower for example; I probably won't."
The seller said the van was 'not perfect (far from it) nor road ready', saying it's instead 'a cheap project and a good way to break into the world of motorhome owning'.
"I'm just trying to get a little money back so I can go on a heavy night of drinking, perhaps visit a lady of the night depending on how well the auction goes and then close this awful chapter of my life," they joked.
"Happy bidding and good luck (God knows you're gonna need it)."
With three days to go, the van currently has 34 bids - having racked up £1,160 at the time of writing.