Remember that whole saying about if it ain't broke, don't try and think of novelty alternative vessels to serve your food in? That's right, there's absolutely nothing wrong with a plate, but that doesn't stop restaurants continuing to think outside the box.
Like, why the fuck has my burger just been served to me on a wooden board? You can also bugger off with those fake frying baskets that my fries have arrived in - though to be fair, they're better than the mini plastic gardening bucket I once had to eat chips from at an allotment-themed bar. True story.
Just look at the Twitter feed for the amusing campaign called We Want Plates, where you'll find such ridiculousness as crisps served in tiny shopping trolleys, a side of bread in a slipper, sandwiches in phone boxes, burgers on reinforced steel joints and a cheese board on, erm, a skateboard.
But now someone's finally taking our desire for proper crockery seriously, with one Birmingham restaurant being fined for serving food on wooden boards - to the not-so-tiny tune of £50,000 ($67,000).
Birmingham City Council said the boards used by Ibrahim's Grill and Steak House in Acocks Green pose a risk of food poisoning.
Inspectors were first called to the restaurant after there was an alleged outbreak of food poisoning, which affected a party of 14. The council also said that inspectors discovered a number of other worrying issues, including a reliance on using disposable gloves - rather than, y'know, washing your hands.
And the worst bit is that the restaurant first got a visit from the council way back in October 2016 - when a number of concerns about cleanliness were initially raised. Some improvements were apparently raised on the follow-up visit two months later, but those ruddy boards were still in use.
At Birmingham Magistrates' Court on Thursday, the restaurant then admitted that by continuing to use the boards, it had failed to comply with the hygiene improvement notice.
And on top of the massive fine, the restaurant also has to pay £670 ($900) costs and a £120 ($160) victim surcharge. That's got to hurt.
Mark Croxford, head of environmental health at the council, said: "It is completely unacceptable for businesses to put the health of people eating at their restaurants at risk."
There we go: not only do they look shit, they can give you the shits, too. Like I said, if it ain't broke...
Featured Image Credit: Birmingham City Council