Peterborough has been named the worst place to live in England, according to a new survey carried out by community website iLiveHere. (It's important to stress that I don't have a problem with Peterborough, I've never even visited the place, I'm sure it's great, I'm sorry.)
The light-hearted poll, which is now in its 13th 'glorious year', saw 42,572 readers vote for the 'least salubrious dump in this septic isle' and in a shocking twist, saw several 'perennials' fall out of the charts.
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Just behind Peterborough were Huddersfield and Rochdale, taking second and third place, respectively.
Huddersfield, last year's 'cherry on the top of the shit cake' - as the site so eloquently puts it - dropped one place this time round.
One critic said of the Yorkshire town: "There's nothing but pound shops and a few coffee shops. It's polluted, unclean, full of idiots and a horrible place to live."
To the point, I guess.
After years of just missing out, Doncaster made its debut in the 2019 chart, claiming fourth spot. One fan of the town said: "You've probably been forced to pass here on the train at some time in your life, seeing all the attractions such as the smack rat infested Balby flats and dirty Hexthorpe." Bloody hell mate, don't hold back.
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Fifth and sixth position went to Hull and Rotherham, respectively, with the site saying of the latter - a former three-time winner - 'it wouldn't be a proper Hall of Shame without it'. Awww.
A stalwart of the the list is the 'entertainment capital of the North', Blackpool, which took seventh place this year. According to iLiveHere, while it was 'once famed for its golden mile', now 'conjures up images of drunken stags and hens, falling over in the street and spewing on themselves'.
The rest of the top 10 was made up by Castleford (8th), Oldham (9th), and falling one place from last year, Blackburn in 10th.
But none managed to catch Peterborough, which was crowned the worst place to live in England. So what makes it so bad?
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Well...
One person gave a pretty damning report on the Cambridgeshire city, writing: "You feel totally isolated from the rest of the world and life in general, as though everything else is going on and you're not part of it as you're stuck in this dump.
"Take a trip into the town centre and it's like walking onto the set of The Walking Dead - every manner of inbred mutant adorns the streets."
Again, I'm sorry if you live in any of these places but it's not my list.
Featured Image Credit: Paul Bryan (Creative Commons)Topics: UK News, Interesting