Crocs With Flame Print - Just When You Thought They Couldn't Get Worse
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Hey guys, guess what? Just when you thought that Crocs couldn't get any worse, they go right ahead and create something so bizarre and so terrible that it knocks everything that came before it into a cocked hat.
Just as a quick aside, there are circumstances in which it is acceptable to wear Crocs. We can't go around telling people like nurses and people who work in kitchens not to wear them, they're comfortable and they're easy to clean. That just makes sense.
However, if you're wearing them out and about, on the beach, or - basically - in any sort of public situation, you want to give your head a good wobble.
The only reason that anyone would wear them is if they were deliberately trying to tell people they don't care how they look, or if they are actually trying to get people to dislike them.
I'll just come right out and say it: Crocs are the 'Pepe the Frog' memes of footwear, there is no two ways about it.
Anyway, if you want to combine your love of American celebrity restaurant owner and all-around fashion cul-de-sac Guy Fieri with your love of Crocs, now is your time, you barbarian.
Just look at those things. They've got that traditional Croc shape, coupled with the early-2000s metalhead kid shirt flames.
Here's what the monsters responsible for creating this fresh horror say about them. FYI, they're calling them the 'Bistro Graphic Clog'.
Apparently, they are designed to help you "serve up some serious comfort" and "help you express your passion in the kitchen".
OK, they do also go on to say that they are "designed with food service, hospitality, and health care workers in mind, they're light and supportive enough to get you through even the longest shifts."
As we've covered, if your job requires you to wear them, then go right ahead. If you're wearing them to troll the general public, shame on you.
It doesn't just stop at the flames, either. There are, in fact, a number of 'stylish' designs that you can choose from. They're called things like 'sushi' and 'fishbone'. Just imagine.
If you're even half considering rushing out to choose your design and get your hands (feet, surely) on a pair of these, just remember that they are actually quite pricey.
A pair of these bad boys will set you back £39.99. That's pretty steep given what you'll look like.
You can probably pick up a plain pair of 'Crocs' on the local market for about £3 if you look hard enough. Believe me, you're still getting ripped off.