Someone Is Selling A Bug's Life Fleshlight On eBay
With many of us trapped in the house, unable to see our friends and families, you might be getting a bit nostalgic for the past, and looking fondly upon your childhood.
Well, get ready for some of your happy memories to be ruined forever, as we reveal that someone has created a Fleshlight based on the caterpillar from 1998 animated film, A Bug's Life.
Remember Heimlich, that adorable little caterpillar fella who was the epitome of all things wholesome and pure? Well someone's gone and put his face on the opening of a Fleshlight. Why do people do these things?
For those of you innocent enough to be wondering what a Fleshlight actually is, we're sorry to tell you it's basically a masturbatory aid designed as an artificial vaginal/anal opening. Don't shoot the messenger; I'm as sorry about this whole situation as you are.
All Heimlich wanted was to become a butterfly, but someone has decided his ribbed outer skin, plump lips and squishy physique have made him the prime target to be Fleshlighted. It's a tragedy, really.
The brain behind this creation - artist Malek Lazri, who's based in Austin, Texas - has put it on eBay, so if you are that way inclined, which I really hope none of you are, you can even purchase this monstrosity. To be clear - the only acceptable reason for this would be comedy value.
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View this post on InstagramThis is it, the holy grail, one of 4 in existence. 1998 "a bugs life" promotional fleshlight, never publicly released only given to a select few high ranking pixar executives for personal use. 100% satisfaction guaranteed very light wear, gently used, do NOT SLEEP on this one folks!!!
A post shared by @ mlazri on
Instagram user @mlazri shared his own promotional video on social media, writing: "This is it, the holy grail, one of four in existence. 1998 A Bug's Life promotional fleshlight, never publicly released only given to a select few high ranking Pixar executives for personal use.
"One hundred percent satisfaction guaranteed, very light wear, gently used, do NOT SLEEP on this one folks!!!"
'Light wear' and 'gently used' were the bits that made me do a little sick in my mouth.
In the video, you can see he's painted over an actual Fleshlight with a caterpillar-inspired pattern. And then when he takes the lid off, you can see he's formed Heimlich's little face out of a silicone mold, and coloured in the cartoon character's features.
To be fair to the guy, his work recreating Heimlich's face is flawless. Just a shame about what it's for.
And to clarify - as if this was necessary - Pixar has categorically not ever released a promotional sex toy for the 1998 kid's movie. Nope. NEVER. All his own work.
Anyway, it's up for $2,000.
Featured Image Credit: Pixar/eBay