'This Morning' Viewers Shocked At Being Told How To Wipe Their Bums
Viewers of This Morning have been left feeling a bit strange after the show's resident doctor, Doctor Chris, told them that toilet paper might be bad for you. Really? Toilet paper is not only necessary, but also - you'd think - pretty harmless.
However, according to Doctor Chris - who would know after all - women are also wiping their backsides wrong, apparently.
That might make you feel a bit anxious and embarrassed, but imagine how it must have been for poor Phillip Schofield and Rochelle Humes, who had to sit on the sofa listening to him.
Surely, he's talking shite, isn't he? He sure is.
He said: "I want to give an important message here about wiping your bottom, and this is aimed at women who may be prone to water infections.
"Women who are prone to those sort of infections should wipe their bottom from front to back.
"If you do it back to front to back you're transferring bacteria."
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is anyone wiping their arse from back to front? Why would that seem like a good idea?
So many questions. Do we even need the answers?
Well, as it happens, a lot of people thought that the 'advice' was completely unnecessary.
One Twitter used said: "Yes thanks #ThisMorning but I do know how to wipe my arse."
Yes, perhaps they're right. Maybe this is a touch too far.
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Another person said what we're all thinking: "I can't believe we are being taught how to wipe our bums on TV. Surely it's common knowledge?"
Exactly. If you've managed to attain the level of human reasoning to watch This Morning - admittedly, it's not rocket science - but haven't yet mastered the art of wiping your arse, then we need to hear your story.
Get in touch, we're waiting.
Anyway, as if that particular public service announcement were needed, at least we definitely know now.
Doctor Chris had some more interesting titbits for the mid-morning massive, including his take on toilet paper. He thinks it's not very good.
Don't just take his word for it either, he claims that 'experts' think that toilet paper is 'bad for our health and unhygienic'.
He explained: "It does very little to keep people clean, removes some poo and moves the rest."
What are we supposed to do then? Doctor Chris suggests a bidet. Aye, because we're all rich from being paid to tell people how to wipe their arses on telly. Get real, mate.
If, like many people, you don't have a huge bathroom or the disposable income to put in a bidet, Doctor Chris suggests: "If you move your bowels every day, say in the morning, move your bowels and then have a shower."
Some people already do this...
The good news is he did say that we should take this advice with a pinch of salt.
He even made a joke, adding: "I would say this is not to be worried about, we do this every week, we get these stories from the scientists and we poo poo them. Boom boom."
Don't give up your day job, Chris LAD.
Featured Image Credit: PA
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