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You can now get yourself your very own crocheted penis blanket, if that's your kind of thing.
The handmade blankets are perfect for a cosy night on the couch and are specially designed so you can hop inside the shaft and completely cocoon yourself. And who wouldn't want that, eh?
The blankets even come with removable balls at the bottom, so you can look a proper d***, if you want.
The penis blanket will set you back £106 ($150) - a bargain, I'm sure you'll agree - and is available on Etsy, but sadly the item doesn't ship to the UK.
A description for the item reads: "Would you like to have a different and funny blanket?
"This Penis blanket with hoodie is wrapped around your feet and then stretches back and lies on your body.
"This blanket will come in its cover with its balls and you will need to inflate the balls."
It's made of 100 percent acrylic yarn, tricot fabric and comes with those removable, inflatable beach balls.
Of course, you don't have to stop there, because Etsy is a treasure trove of crocheted penis items, believe it or not.
The fully crocheted item comprises a range of handmade willies, in various colours and sizes, all chucked into a crocheted bag - the ideal present for that special someone.
But if a crochet willy isn't what your after, then how about a 7-foot steel penis?
That's what one bloke ordered as a prank to p*** off his pal on his birthday.
The impressive custom-made member was created by Latham's Steel Doors, a steel fabricator in Oldbury, West Midlands.
The company decided to take on the unusual order, after a tough year. Photos show workers standing on a platform next to the giant object, which was made complete with 3D balls.
The surprise birthday gift was engraved with a happy birthday message and came with some very specific requests.
The prankster, who has not been named, asked for it to be self-standing, and it also had to be thick enough to make it difficult to get rid of.
It was also specified that the penis had to be welded together to make it impossible to take apart.
The mystery customer also asked that it be galvanised so it could stay outside exposed to the elements.
That is some serious dedication to a prank, but sadly, it turned out that the recipient wasn't too keen and the item was spotted on Facebook Marketplace the next day with a price tag of £123 ($174).
Featured Image Credit: Splitpics UK
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