High-heel Crocs Are A Thing And They're As Awful As You Might Expect

Many may claim that Crocs are just about the worst thing that you can put on your feet.

They're up there with sandals and socks, those shoes that have toes and dog poo as things that you don't want anywhere near your plates of meat, and believe it or not, they just got worse.

High-heeled crocs are a thing and they're on sale now.

I mean, if you wanted to spend £39.99 on looking like a fool, you could get the entire England 2018 World Cup squad tattooed across your body like one (presumably drunken) punter did this week for a laugh.

"Casual and comfortable heels and wedges," say Crocs themselves on their website. Comfortable maybe - though I've never worn moulded rubber high heels, and am unlikely ever to do so, so I'm not sure.

As for casual: wearing your slippers when you go to the shops is casual (and, admittedly, very comfortable) but not advisable if you're looking to step out in style.

"Get all the fashion without sacrificing the comfort. Dress them up or down, and enjoy wherever the day takes you!" they add.

I'm not sure what 'all the fashion' is, but if you're wearing Croc high-heels, I'm pretty sure that you don't have 'all the fashion', in fact quite the opposite.

That said, high fashion whatevers Balenciaga recently debuted a pair of high heeled, platform Crocs at their show at Paris Fashion Week, so maybe I know nothing.

"Fashion house @Balenciaga just elevated Crocs to new heights. Here's a first look at the shoe they sent down the runway today in Paris," crowed Crocs' official Twitter account, though a) they would say that and b) perhaps, at best, we can take this literally, as platform Crocs would genuinely be higher than any other previous form of Croc.

Still, if your idea of ultra cool hip modern footwear is looking like a chef who has to go to a high fashion party, but also still work as a chef at the same time, or a five-year-old boy who doesn't get to pick his own clothes and is still dressed by his mother but inexplicably has to go to a high fashion party, then these might be the shoes for you.

Featured Image Credit: PA

Topics: Crocs, Fashion, Community

Mike Wood

Mike Meehall Wood is a freelance journalist and translator. He writes for LADbible, VICE and countless sports publications, focusing on rugby league, football and boxing. He is a graduate of Leeds University and maintains a fizzy pop obsession. Contact Mike at [email protected]