Featured image credit: YouTube / Movieclips
Is there anything more relaxing than going out for a meal? You can have a few drinks, enjoy better food than you might do at home, and there's no worries about having to clear up the mess afterwards.
Maybe that's all true. But, deep inside, there's that suspicion, isn't there? Because I mean, when you're at home sticking some Kievs in, you know exactly what's going on with your food. You get to watch it from oven to plate. But you don't get that with a restaurant.
Sure, there are some ways of making sure the joint isn't dirty. The Food Standard Agency lets you check your local restaurant's ratings - something I did recently and discovered that I'd been getting half my post-sesh doners from zero rated kebab houses.
This classic scene from Road Trip is every eaters worst nightmare. Credit: Movieclips.com
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But if you work in a restaurant, or have mates who work in hospitality or fast food, there's a good chance you'll have heard some pretty grim stories about what goes on during food preparation. So, with this in mind, I decided it was time to do some digging and work out what could be happening to my food.
I searched out the worst stories from chefs, waiting staff and burger servers. But, to be honest, looking back, I sort of wish I hadn't.
Take one lad who go in touch to tell me about what went on at a well-known high street sandwich chain after one of the 'sandwich artists' took issue with his boss.
"One day one of my colleagues got in to an argument with the boss and snapped," Bill told me. "Later he got told to fill up the bottles of sauce and he wasn't happy about it."
"He responded by pissing in the 'sweet onion' sauce, and we were using it on customers' sarnies all day. Nobody noticed, and luckily for the customers he was kicking off all day and eventually he got the sack."
I'm not sure it sounds that lucky for the customers to be honest Bill - by the sounds of it a lot of them were having piss sandwich meal deals.
I'm not sure it tops the last one, but Jess who was a manager at a well-known fried chicken chain claimed that she and other staff member had been asked to re-date produce so it didn't go past its 'sell by' date.
"We had to change the dates on everything, so it was 'fresh' every day. The bread when it came in was dated to last two days, but then when it reached the second day we'd just add on a couple more days," she said.
"We did exactly the same for chicken. I've got friends who work in other stores and they all have to do the same."
She also had one particularly gross story about an employee who she had to fire.
"A member of staff once dropped some popcorn chicken, swept it up and put it in the tray to be served. Grotty, and I have no idea why they did it," she said. "We caught them when we watched it on CCTV, but this was after the customer ate it."
Finally, the worst story of the lot, from a bloke who's been working in the industry for the last 25 years. He's a head chef now but back in the 90s he was a trainee at a hospital canteen. This lad wanted to remain anonymous, and when you read it I'm sure you'll understand why.
"Me and this other chef worked the breakfast shift every day, we'd start at 5am preparing, cooking and serving around 250 meals, so it was busy all shift," he says - maybe imagine him speaking with his face covered like they do on Crimestoppers for anonymous sources.
"The breakfast finished at 10.30, then we'd clean prep for following day. But this there was this one surgeon that would rock up every day at quarter to 11 and demand toast and coffee. He'd only be happy with 'fresh toast' and it did our heads in."
Okay, fair play the surgeon sounds like a wanker, but I'm not sure he deserved what follows.
"The other chef would say he was off to 'use the grill in the back', then he'd shove the bread up the crack of his sweaty arse. Then he would pop a butter portion down his pants so it was 'spreadable."
"Then he'd serve it up to the unsuspecting customer. As a trainee I was told if I said anything I'd lose my job, so I had to keep quiet."
Fucking hell, there's no words really. Anyone still up for eating out for dinner tonight?
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Words by James Dawson