Dad Out-Dads All Dads Across Globe With A McDonald's Meal
There is something that happens when somebody becomes a father that fundamentally changes the DNA of that person.
It doesn't matter who you are and it doesn't matter how chill or how cool you were prior to fatherhood, there are certain traits all dads seem to pick up eventually. A propensity for bad jokes, for instance, is a universal trait that transcends cultures, religions and geographical centrality.
In fact, from Manchester to Florida and Belgrave to Baghdad, I can guarantee at this very moment there will be shit banter being offered up to groaning children. Somewhere some old man will be sniffing gone-off milk and telling a child that it will be good for another couple of days. At the instant you read these words there will be some bloke telling his kid that rather than put the heating on they can put a jumper on instead.
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"You gonna finish your food, or are you just gonna stare at it?" - a phrase echoing down dinner tables across the globe.
Now one 44-year-old from Middlewich, Cheshire appears to have made claim for the mantle of 'most dadish in Britain'. What did he do? Well, after Lee Willshire's daughter and son wouldn't stop squabbling in a supermarket, he took them to McDonald's. The catch? He didn't bother to order any burgers, fries or coke for them.
He concocted the plan when they refused to behave and eight-year-old Jake threw his shoe at 12-year-old Lydia's head.
You can see him now. The kids squabbling in the aisle. Him trying to get them to shut up. Then a wry smile appearing on his face. The plan being hatched.
"Tell you what, kids, how about if you stop fighting, we go to McDonald's after this?" he says. In my mind, anyway.
They stop fighting. He's done it. He's tricked them. 'Gahahahahaahahahaahahaahahahhahahhahahahah', he thinks.
When Lee got to the drive-thru at McDonald's he ordered a quarter pounder with cheese and fries, telling the assistant that they were 'just for himself'. Then, when he got home he made them eat beans on toast, while he ate his takeaway in front of them.
Image credit: Caters
He also posted a picture of himself with his children on social media.
He said: "My wife loved it and thought it was brilliant, but admitted she doesn't think she could have gone through with herself. She worries that the aftermath would be too much to deal with so couldn't see it through.
"I'm not proud of it. My son is only eight so he was crying about it but I believed he needed to learn how he had acted was wrong and I needed to see through the punishment.
"Lydia noticed as soon as I didn't order anything else at the window and she immediately understood what was going on.
"I got a look that I don't know how to describe but if looks could kill, that's what I got."
He claims he's not proud of doing what he did but the grin in that photo shows a man who has reached the pinnacle of dad-dom.
The kids were then made to pose for this embarrassing press photo, presumably so the kids at school could laugh at their misery, too...
Image credit: Caters
Lee added: "They both understood they were in the wrong. They sat in silence and ate their beans on toast.
"I think they might be different next time we're in the supermarket. They have been acting differently already."
Fair play, mate, your kids probably weren't happy about it at the time, but they've probably learned their lesson now.
Featured image credit: Caters