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Wayne Rooney seems to be all set for a £900,000-a-week transfer to China, the lucky bastard.
The 31-year-old England captain, and Manchester United's record goalscorer, looks like he will be leaving the club for one of the Chinese Super League's top outfits.
He still has 18 months left on his contract at United, which earns him a measly £300,000 a week, but it seems as though club bosses will sanction the move within the next four weeks.
Wayne, his wife, Coleen, and their three sons currently live in Cheshire, so a move to the Far East might be a bit of a culture shock for them.
According to the Mirror, there are a number of top teams who would be willing to offer the striker a £140 million three-year-contract. Football is becoming absolutely massive in China, with billionaires and huge corporations funding teams.
In recent months several big-name players have made the move to China, including Carlos Tevez who now plays for Shanghai Shenhua and earns £615,000 a week. A WEEK. That's a lot of Freddos.
Where did it all go right for Rooney?
Rooney was just nine years old when he joined Everton's youth team. He went on to make his professional debut at the age of 16. During his time with Everton, Rooney became the club's youngest ever goalscorer (he later lost that title to James Vaughan, who then lost it to Jose Baxter) and was also the youngest ever goalscorer in Premier League history for a short period, too.
It wasn't long before an international career came calling and Rooney became the youngest player to play for England when he was aged 17 years and 111 days. Basically, Rooney was picking up 'youngest player to ever...' titles left, right and centre. Aged 17 years and 317 days he became the youngest player to score for England, scoring the equaliser against Macedonia in a Euro 2004 qualifying match.
In January 2003 he signed a new contract with Everton for around £14,000-a-week, making him one of the world's highest paid teen players. He would spend two seasons as a blue before jumping ship to Manchester United for £25.6 million in 2004. It was the highest fee ever paid for a player under 20 as Rooney was still only 18 at this point.
Coming from a family of Everton supporters, I've never fully forgiven him for leaving for United (they don't call us Bitter Blues for nothing), although obviously it was the right move for him.
He earned the title of youngest ever player to score a hat-trick in the Champions League against Fenerbahce and was also United's top goalscorer in his first season, with 11 goals, leading to him picking up the PFA Young Player of the Year Award.
He's enjoyed a long and successful career at Manchester United scoring a record-breaking 250 goals, beating the long-standing record held by Sir Bobby Charlton, and making almost 550 appearances for the club.
Wayne Rooney breaks the Manchester United goal scoring record. #250. pic.twitter.com/xSqJWtv5vn
- Adam Joseph (@AdamJosephSport) January 21, 2017
Sir Bobby, 79, heaped praise on Rooney, saying: "He is a true great for club and country, and it is fitting that he is now the highest goalscorer for both United and England.
"It has been great to watch him every week since his arrival at Old Trafford in 2004. He set the tone with a wonderful hat-trick on his debut and he has thrilled us all in the years since, going on to enjoy a hugely successful career.
"I was 35 when I retired. Wayne is only 31 and still going strong, so I don't think he's done by a long stretch yet. He continues to show that he can contribute goals, assists and performances whenever called upon. He will raise the bar even further before he calls it a day.
"Now he's the man to beat, and I can't see anybody doing that for a long, long time."
But his time at United hasn't all been plain-sailing, some fans struggled to forgive Rooney for wanting to exit the club in 2010 and again in 2013. Speaking in 2010 United's then-manager Sir Alex Ferguson said he was 'dumbfounded' by Rooney wanting to leave and within 48 hours it was announced the striker had signed a new five-year-deal.
He can levitate, too. Credit: PA
Rooney had a rocky relationship with former Everton manager David Moyes when he then took over as boss at United, with Moyes suing the striker over claims made in his autobiography.
In Wayne Rooney - My Story So Far, published in 2006, Rooney claimed that Moyes had leaked private information about him and his wife to the press. Moyes launched legal action and the case was settled outside of court as well as issuing an apology.
How well he'll play in China remains to be seen if he does make the move. The Liverpool-born player has never played for a non-English side and he'll be playing during the stifling summer heat in Shanghai where temperatures can reach 40C.
He's also likely to face a bit of
jealousy from his teammates, who reportedly earn 15 times less than the former
stars of the Premier League. Either way, I'm pretty sure £900,000 a week will be enough
of a sweetener to keep him happy.