David Beckham Turns Up Looking Like The King Of England At Royal Wedding
Inviting David Beckham to your wedding is a dead set to break the rule of not upstaging the bride. David Beckham upstages literally everyone.
It was surprising, then, that Meghan Markle, Prince Harry, Elton John, the Queen, James Blunt and literally everyone on planet Earth was left looking resolutely rubbish compared to the majesty of D Becks come Saturday lunchtime in Windsor.
While Posh looked like she was strolling into a fashion funeral, David looked like he might actually be the King of England. In fact, if we put it to a vote tomorrow, he would probably be elected King of England.
A few people on Twitter did point out that, given that his alma mater Man United were in the FA Cup Final later that same day on the other side of North London at Wembley, perhaps Beckham should have been throwing his weight behind them instead.
Of course, had he turned up to the Cup Final, he would undoubtedly have upstaged literally everyone there as well, up to and including the FA Cup itself. Which he would have been duty bound to present to the winners, given that the planned presenter, Prince William, was standing as best man at Windsor (and, of course, being upstaged by Beckham there).
Piers Morgan - who would come last if we had an elected Head of State - spent his morning laying into one of Britain's greatest national treasures from his soapbox on Good Morning Britain this morning, claiming that D Becks disrespected the monarchy and god by chewing gum. Or something.
"He goes into church and sits down next to Nicholas Soames," he said of the England legend, who was seated next to the Conservative MP for Mid Sussex. "The pillar of the establishment. A man related to Winston Churchill and what does old Golden Balls do? He chews gum."
"You don't chew gum in church. If there's something that will stop him getting a knighthood," added Piers.
Realistically, David Beckham will get a knighthood at some point - whereas Piers Morgan won't.