The Christmas period can be a lonely time - it seems like everyone is loved up, drinking hot chocolate together and wearing matching snowflake jumpers.
Wankers.
Well... actually...
As it turns out, science says you should indulge in a little bit of self-love - that's both genders, too! Not only does it help with the winter blues but it has many medical benefits.
Wanking has a bad rap - people have long believed rumours about how it makes you blind, gives you hairy hands, makes your dick fall off. We're proud to tell you that none of these things are remotely true! Wanking is good for you.
Credit: Universal Pictures
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As stated in The Conversation, if you're female, masturbating could stop you getting urinary tract infections. Apparently, when you're turned on your cervix opens - this is called 'tenting' - and this lets bacteria flush out. Problem solved! (Best not to think about why there is bacteria up there. That way only lies madness).
Everyone hates urinary tract infections - that awful stinging sensation when you pee! If you're prone to them there's only one thing for it - have a night in, lie back and think of Tom Hiddleston, or Timothy Spall - whatever floats your boat.
This one's on me. Your're welcome. Credit: Warner Bros
For men - the benefits of masturbation have even bigger stakes. The less sex you have, the more likely you are to contract prostate cancer. How scary is that?! It's also a bit of a mood killer - "Hey honey...I don't want to get cancer so... how about it?" Desperate, yes, but I'll be trying that tonight, tomorrow, and every night for the rest of time.
Research has found that if you're not particularly sexually active, then you're more likely to get prostate cancer than someone who is very giggity. However, before you get into a panic and start desperately trying to pull, masturbation counts as being sexually active, so that's me saved!
So, bascially, you can wank your way to help yourself from being cancer-free!
Merry Christmas to that!
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Main image credit: 20th Century Fox
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