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Man Finds Spiders That Cause Four Hour Erections In His Bananas

Man Finds Spiders That Cause Four Hour Erections In His Bananas

Kill it with fire.

Claire Reid

Claire Reid

It seems like barely a week goes by without someone finding something gross inside something they bought at the supermarket, usually it's just grim - like a little worm in some lettuce. But this latest one is actually really dangerous.

After buying some bananas from ASDA, one family have been forced to leave their home, while it gets fumigated, because it's now full of dozens of Brazilian Wandering Spiders.

Ashley Gamble and his partner were unpacking their shopping when they noticed the small white cocoon on one of the bananas and then the spiders, which are one of the most venomous in the world, began falling out. Fuck that.

Now, if like me, you don't know much about these spiders then let me tell you, they're fucking horrifying. These little buggers start off by giving you a FOUR HOUR erection (wahey) and then kill you (oh). These bloody foreign spiders coming over here and giving us erections.

via GIPHY

Ashley, not knowing how dangerous they were at the time, went at them with the vacuum cleaner, but is understandably worried that some may have escaped, the Mirror reports. He now had to have his whole house fumigated. I'd just burn the place down.

The spider, which is also known as a Banana Spider or Armed Spider, can cause painful erections in men, followed by death. Make sure to check your bananas in future, lads.

Featured image credit: PA

Featured Image Credit:

Topics: Spiders, Asda

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